Many of Dallas’ most popular bars are known for being grimy and grungy. Stained carpets, peeling paint and cracked upholstery on banquets that are falling apart; all are hallmarks of true watering holes. But there may be no more harrowing experience than when it comes time to brave the bathroom. Sometimes it's a matter of cleanliness, but quite often these ladies rooms entail insanely long wait times, graffiti that reads like a novel, inadequate lighting and major inconveniences, like, you know, a lack of toilet paper. These 10 bars' ladies rooms are the worst of them all in Dallas. (And stay tuned for our list of the city's worst men's rooms, later this month.)
10. The Grapevine Bar
A sign on The Grapevine Bar's bathroom door does its best to help patrons, with written instructions on how the commode should work. “BATHROOM STALL INSTRUCTIONS: CLOSE AND LOCK THE DOOR WHEN IN USE.” Why anyone would need these instructions is a mystery, but invokes worries of marauders breaking in during moments of vulnerability. The bathroom itself is a totally confused shed-like space, what with its gold and purple Mardi Gras paint, totally out-of-place Tiffany fixture and graffiti carved into the wood paneling.
3902 Maple Ave., Dallas, grapevinebar.com
Bars are usually where people congregate to meet new people and get to know each other, so in keeping with that tradition, RBC’s bathroom stalls have given you an extra opportunity to get to meet your neighbor. The stall height stops at around chin level (if you’re a taller-than-average gal standing there) and the bottom almost comes up to your knees, so forget about peeing in private. You can even say what’s up to the girl next to you while she’s doing lines off the toilet paper dispenser.
2617 Commerce St., Dallas, rbcdeepellum.com
8. The Crown & Harp
With its coat-closet quality lighting, Crown & Harp’s bathroom ranks among the most depressing. Don’t bump the vanity while washing your hands or reapplying the makeup you sweated off dancing; it’s coming unhinged from the wall. Only a miracle of engineering has kept the plumbing intact. Regulars are waiting for the moment when something finally pops and turns the bathroom into a geyser. Could the precarious sink situation be from one too many drunk people crashing into it? No judgment clumsy ladies, it happens to the best of us.
1914 Greenville Ave., Dallas, thecrownandharp.com
7. Single Wide
Single Wide at least posted a mirror in the hallway outside the bathrooms, since they removed the one from inside. This surely has been done to speed up the bathroom turnover rate. Not a bad idea considering this one-stall establishment sees a pretty constant influx of customers. If you’re there on a slow night, you might as well take the time to sit and contemplate your surroundings. Why is there a curious hole in the wall? What might crawl out of it? Will it be big enough to eat me?
2110 Greenville Ave., Dallas, double-wide.com
6. Adair's Saloon
Graffiti is all but encouraged at Adair's Saloon, and women don’t need an invitation to take our their frustrations on the walls. Literally every inch of paint is covered and then the graffiti is covered by more graffiti. Some notable phrases include “Girls Rock,” “Go USA” and “Texas Forever.” How cute. Your enthusiasm is noted. With soap dispensed from a condiments bottle labeled “Hand Soap, do not throw away” in Sharpie, rolls of paper towels soaking up water on the tiny vanity counter, and the hardest-working toilet seat in town (the paint has been rubbed off of it from the sheer number of bums that have sat there), Adair’s is definitely one of the worst.
2624 Commerce St., Dallas, adairssaloon.com