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4. A Song You Wrote
Why the hell would you do this to someone you care about? You know you are incapable of writing good music. How do you know? Because everyone else is.
3. A Singing Anything
Billy Bigmouth Bass ruined all of 1998. Then McDonald's ruined all of 2009 by bringing the heinous thing back and adding in a new song for all of your co-workers to sing loudly while they did data entry. You'd think that amidst all these warnings of climate change and our inevitable doom that manufacturers could grow a heart in a jar and realize that things like singing greeting cards are funny the first three times before they're permanently lodged in your brain like a railroad spike.
