DFW Music News

6 Gifts to Avoid Getting Your Mother on Mother's Day

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2. The Adventures of MC Skat Kat & The Stray Mob CD/Cassette

I'm not even writing a description for this. It's the musical equivalent of a serious death threat. In fact, just putting it in this article has probably put me on some sort of FBI watch list.

1. Anything With The Word "Rockstar" On It Here's a list of things that use the term "rockstar", a term that was turned into a household compliment by the band Smashmouth. (Well, maybe that was "all star," but we're holding it against them anyway.) You will notice a common thread between each one: none of them provide suitable presents for the woman who raised you.

-- Rockstar Energy Drink -- A Nickleback Song -- A Video Game Company That Makes Games Where You Shoot Cops -- Rock Star Skateboard Bearings -- Bon Jovi's Drummer's Company, ROCK STAR BABY, That Makes Ed Hardy-Looking Shit For Children (THIS SHIT FUCKING SUCKS) -- Twinkle Twinkle Little Rockstar -- A company that makes lullaby renditions of rock songs (this shit is seriously playing fucking imagine dragons right now) -- A Pro Wrestling Company -- RockStar Alpacas - An Alpaca Breeder

I guess there's also a company in Austin that does wholesale bagels. So maybe if the lady seriously loves the sandy-textured cousin of donuts, Rockstar Bagels wouldn't be so bad. Better than an alpaca, at least.

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Drew Ailes
Contact: Drew Ailes

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