Austin Psych Fest 2014 Survival Guide

So, it's the day before Austin Psych Fest and you're still not ready. Especially if you plan to make a weekend of it (maybe camp out?), then man, it's high time you start prepping. There's plenty of I's to dot and T's to cross, and maybe a few hard-to-come-by party favors to locate and stash accordingly. But don't worry: DC9 at Night has got you covered. Here's our comprehensive, foolproof guide to beating the heat and staying awesome in Austin this weekend.

1. First -- and this is also numero uno on the No-Brainer List -- bring lots of water. Like, a whole lot. Like so, so much that people give you stink-eye looks as you carry pallet after pallet of cheapo bottled water through the gates. For reference, something like this:

Or you could be responsible and bring a Nalgene and save some trees. But that's so less, I don't know, wasteful. Which is cooler I think.

2. Lodging is sort of important. If you want a camping pass they're $75. If you want a hotel, you need a time machine. Seriously, rooms are probably all long gone by now, and if not, you don't want to know how much they cost. More info on this situation can be found here.

3. Bring snacks. There's no cooking whatsoever at Psych Fest, and I'm guessing ice won't last long in chests if you plan to stay the weekend (they say they're selling ice but I'm confident it will sell out quickly). So, bring lots of snacks that don't require cooking or cooling, and are melt-proof. Think: beef jerky, nuts, trail mix, oatmeal bars, etc. The other option, if you have a camping pass, is to buy food at the 24-hour general store while supplies last. Oh, and food trucks! There will be food trucks. But don't forget, music fests are like airports: money is only worth about half its normal value inside. Just make sure to save enough money to get back home.

4. Pack music for both car rides. Austin is a bit of a haul (rougly four hours) so make sure to bring plenty of tunes for the ride down and back. For the down up, might I suggest albums from any of the acts on this list; personally, I'd go with Loop's Heaven's End, The Zombies' Odessey and Oracle and Acid Mothers Temple's New Geocentric World of Acid Mothers Temple. The ride back is whole other issue altogether. After a weekend of sun-baking, light-sleeping, chemical-ingesting and loud music, you'll need something a bit more conducive to healing. Pick accordingly.

5. Bring stuff to stay clean, please. Pack lots of deodorant. (See previous picture of bottled waters.) Baby wipes are also a must. There will be showers and full restrooms on site for campers, which means shampoo, soap, toothpaste, toothbrush, toilet paper, tampons, Kleenex, and whatever else helps keep you approachable the rest of the time. Basically bring everything that makes you smell nice and keeps you from leaking all over the place.

6. Bring extra clothing, make sure it's comfortable and not especially valuable. I know you want to look cool; I mean fests are about looking good and hooking up, not stupid music. But trust me: you'll much prefer being comfortable to worrying about your appearance and hip threads the whole weekend. (What do you think this is, Coachella?) Psych Fest is outside. There is going to be hotness and sweat and dirt and grass-stain-ready grass. Therefore, make sure to bring clothes you won't worry about ruining all weekend. Furthermore, bring a few more outfits than you expect you'll need. Maybe you sweat out a shirt; maybe you get puked on (by yourself or someone else); maybe you have a bad trip and shit your pants. I don't know, just bring extras in the event that you might need them. Because, if you have as much fun as you hope you're going to have you'll probably end up needing them.

7. A backpack, or similar storage device, is a must. There are certain items you need on you at all times, and that you can't safely leave back at the tent. This is where a backpack comes in handy. I.D, cash, credit cards, phone, keys -- these things should never leave your sight, so pack them up and keep them on your person at all times. Note: be ever-wary of pick-pocketers and general run-of-the-mill scumbags. If it's not attached to you, someone will try and snag it.

8. If you don't want West Nile Virus or Yellow Fever pack bug spray. It's your choice, honestly. But new studies have shown that if you get mosquito-bit even just once you'll most definitely get one of these two diseases, probably, most of the time, maybe. It's going be warm, Psych Fest takes place adjacent a creek, so, yes there will be plenty of hungry mosquitoes hoping to make itchy bumps out of your most sensitive areas. Don't let this happen. Oh, and it's unrelated, but bring sunscreen too.

9. Don't take candy from strangers Psych Fest is a psychedelic music festival, thus, there will be lots of (psychedelics) drugs handy. Enjoy safely, but whatever you do don't take unknown substances from unknown persons. It's a recipe for disaster and just plain stupid. You think it's going to be like:

But then it's really like:

10. Lastly, just have a good time. Remember why you came to Psych Fest: to have fun. Enjoy yourself; events like this are a rare treat, so make the most of it. You're never going to be this young again, so dive in headfirst. If you listen to your common sense and intuition, and follow accordingly, all should go just fine. If not, there's plenty of first aid and security staff on duty to make sure nothing gets too out of hand. Oh and bring a way to portably charge your phone, because electricity is scarce-to-non-existent at Psych Fest.

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Jonathan Patrick