Five Reasons Why 2 Chainz Should Make A Presidential Bid

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I don't know about you, but this election coverage is really starting to wear on me. Headline after headline, months and months of media saturation, all to convince me to wake up 25 minutes earlier on November 4 to hit an elementary school on the way to work. I'm so fed up with the overkill that I can't really bring myself to vote for either presidential hopeful. But it's all good, because I've found the perfect write-in candidate for the Ratchet Party. And tonight at House of Blues, Dallas gets to catch up to his campaign.

See also: 2 Chainz - House of Blues - 9/25/12

Back in 2007, rap fans were living in Wayne's world. Playaz Circle, a relatively unknown two-piece signed to Ludacris' Def Jam imprint Disturbing Tha Peace, released their debut single "Duffle Bag Boy," featuring Lil Wayne. Despite its commercial success, Playaz Circle stayed off rap's radar and the single was widely regarded as Wayne's song.

If the music industry worked the same way as partisan politics, "Duffle Bag Boy" would be the Trap Musick National Convention speech that led to the campaign. Five years later, Lil Wayne's trying to fuck around and be a skateboarder, and 2 Chainz, the artist formerly known as Tity Boi, is who the airwaves of summer 2012 belonged to. With a going rate of $100k per verse, co-signs from pretty much every relevant rapper in the game right now, and a debut album, Based On a T.R.U. Story, at the top of the charts, the self-professed hair weave killer can pretty much do whatever he wants right now. If you ask me, he should set his sights on the Oval Office. Here's why:

He's real 2 Chainz describes his music as "reality rap," and maintains he only writes what he knows. Based On a T.R.U. Story is full of references to his upbringing, his family, his checkered past, and the designer labels he's rarely seen without. Like all rap, B.O.A.T.S. is not without boasts, but they're not all too outrageous. On the single "No Lie", he spits, "Got ya car note in my cup, and your rent in my swisher." Pretty humble compared to friend and collaborator Kanye West's $6,000 pair of shoes brag on the DJ Khaled-produced "Cold."

He's intelligent 2 Chainz attended North Clayton High school in College Park, Georgia (where R&B singer Monica was a classmate) and graduated second in his class. From there, he went on to Alabama State University, where he played a season of Division 1 basketball before transferring to Virginia State. It is widely believed that he graduated college with a 4.0 GPA, but he has neither confirmed nor denied this. While his lyrics aren't the most intellectually riveting, his business prowess is undeniable. Which leads me to my next point.

He's a helluva businessman Some would argue that sitting sideline on Disturbing The Peace for over a decade wasn't in his best interest. But if he hadn't, who knows? Making a break for yourself in the music industry depends very much on timing. He's been a marketing machine in 2012, spending the majority of the year on the road, in the studio, and shooting video after video to support his album. On "I Feel Good," he assures us, "I've been on my paper route, a lot of zeros in my motherfuckin' bank account."

The people love him Men respect him, women want him. And honey, women really want him. While he's no stranger to the genre norm of objectifying women in his lyrics, 2 Chainz lets his cakin' side show on "Stop Me Now," with the line, "I love you now, I don't care about your ratchet past." These are the words that young ratchet babes like me have been waiting to hear their whole life from the sensitive thug of their dreams.

He's THE AMERICAN DREAM On "Crack," 2 Chainz spits, "Started from the trap, now I rap." I'm not going to argue that it's the most lyrically complex line on the album, but what's more American than turning nothing into something? The man has lived on both sides of the economic spectrum, and understands the struggles that come from each extreme. At age 14, he was hustling the streets of Atlanta to help out his mom, and last year he bought her a brand new house for Mother's Day. On Lil Wayne collaboration "Yuck," he recalls, "And yeah, the bread good if the head good, before Benihana's it was canned goods." If that's not the pursuit of happiness in its purest form, then what is?

See also: 2 Chainz - House of Blues - 9/25/12

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