DFW Music News

Five Ways We Might Be Listening To Music In the Future

The human race will remember 2012 as the year that birthed a new kind of hologram, but that technology is just the jumping-off point in this exciting era of interactive music experience. New research allows us to look into technology that might shape the way we listen to music in the next few decades, excluding The Great Mind War of 2033.

The Portable Portal Product opens a wormhole that leads to your favorite concert moment in time. Program the time card, toss on any flat surface, and step in!* *Warning: The Portable Portal is incredibly dense. Opening near major cities or neighborhoods could result in spacial tearing, severe head trauma and disorientation. Do not open at midnight, or near light-weight objects.

iBody A soft gel insert, equipped with a iMotor, propels to your kidney and attaches itself to adrenal gland. The device feeds off your adrenaline and will activate when you get "pumped up." iBody will select a song, and broadcast it at 30 DB. *Recommended insertion point is the anus. **iBody must be preloaded with songs before insertion.

MeDish** A self-launched, personal satellite that allows you to broadcast* your own expert music opinion and song choice in a 100-mile radius. *MeDish receivers will take up to one year to locate MeDish satellite in orbit. **MeDish contains Uranium Warning: MeDish is not responsible for destruction of satellite due to space debris or asteroids.

The Microsoft Possessor Live your favorite concert form the musician's eyes! Using nano-technology and the Kutcherian Electromagnetic Theory (Ashton Kutcher will discovery a rare radio wave in 2044), Microsoft will allow you to "leap" inside the body any living musician for up to two hours*. *Warning: you will feel sensations, including pain, while in the body.

iMorph Turn any object, sentient or not, into a surround sound speaker! iMorph will change any matter into a device of pure output. Warning: A viscous green fluid may emit from the transformation subject following the Morph.

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Nick Rallo
Contact: Nick Rallo