Finally: Garth Brooks is coming back to Dallas. After more than seven years and a snub of the entire state of Texas on his comeback tour, yesterday he -- hey, wait a minute. This isn't actually a concert he's playing? He's just hosting a pre-party for the American Country Music Awards? Oh hell no.
Now don't get us wrong here: Brooks' appearance at the ACM Awards' Lifting Lives gala is for a good cause. We absolutely won't begrudge him that. Proceeds for the event, which Brooks co-hosts with Trisha Yearwood on April 17, go to a selection of local charities. That, presumably, explains why tickets start at $1,250.
But here's the thing: Brooks won't be performing. Just hosting.
We've had a long relationship with Brooks here in Dallas. Hell, a Dallas lawyer even paid for his first Nashville demos. He's sold out every big venue in the area, save for Jerry Jones' football palace in Arlington. But he hasn't played a show here since 2007 (and speaking of expensive tickets, let's not talk about how much those cost).
Seriously, Brooks has been called the most successful artist of all time, so why not prove it by doing three sold out nights at AT&T Stadium? Can you imagine the headlines? "Brooks sets ticket sales mark with three straight nights of sold out 100,000 person shows in Texas." Supposedly 160,000 people tried to buy tickets to see him in Chicago. That's not even close to what he could do in Texas. The Houston Rodeo is practically begging him to play every year because they know how loved he is down here.
But, instead of coming here and owning the state, he puts Ireland on his tour first. He even did five shows in Buffalo. Five! Do they even have music in Buffalo?
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Listen, we've been extremely chill with everything. We didn't complain when Brooks suddenly retired. We didn't grumble when he un-retired. We were cool with the Vegas residency, the baseball dreams and playing Calgary. And that's before we even get around to mentioning Chris Gaines. We were even cool with you love of Mango, and your turn as an Old French Whore on SNL. (Real talk: Brooks is a top 10 SNL host. We were bummed he wasn't at the 40-year special last Sunday.)
And it's not just Buffalo. Brooks' tour has hit Boston, Atlanta, Jacksonville, Minneapolis, St. Louis, Denver, Detroit, Sacramento, Pittsburgh and Little Rock. You know what all those places have in common? They're not Texas.
Brooks marches to the beat of your own drum. That's cool. He has enough money to do so (and to start his own streaming service), but he's got a ton of fans here waiting on him to come back. Honestly, we're starting to take it a little personal. He could come here and save us from the bro-country. He could help everyone remember what it was like when Music Row was running things.
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Just one show, that's all we ask. Then we'll be cool about the Buffalo thing. We'll be down for him to bring back the soul patch; he can do another Chris Gaines album; we'll even stream it on his music site that we're pretty sure not one person knew existed.
So come back to Dallas, Garth, but for real. Own it. Break all the records you can, and stop teasing us with this hosting of galas thing. We don't want you telling jokes. We want you flying through the air on wires and sing-a-longs to "Low Places."
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