Earlier today, Steve Jobs unveiled "Ping," a new social media platform within iTunes.
We think it's going to really take off--as well as solidify Apple's burgeoning reputation as the future Cyberdyne systems.
In this light, we propose a few apps that Jobs could-have possibly unveiled today (or perhaps, might in the future).
You know those sites where you can log in and watch kittens play 24/7? iGaga is similar, but instead of cute kittens a live feed of Lady Gaga's life is presented in full 1080p HD. Users can discover the answers to questions like "Where is Gaga now?" and "Does she ever use the bathroom?" It's all answered in iGaga. Parents: An NSFW censor is available for said bathroom scenes and future ICP Gatherings. [Available for iPhone and iPad.]
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An application that controls Droid phones world wide with a single wheel-based button. Only one user can use iDroid at a time. Also coming soon: iDroid User--with this app, you'll be able to tap into the Droid user's Alpha and Theta waves to create a perfect mind-control bond. Simply think of actions, and the Droid user will respond within microseconds. [Available for iPhone and iPad.]
The exclusive social networking platform for the movers of large amounts of materials. Movers who spend their days transferring weights of over one ton can spend their days connecting to other movers from around the world. [Available for iPhone and iPad.]
Beamed directly into your mind via Apple TV's new platform, you'll no longer have to venture into the scorching California desert for this famous live show. Live acts like My Morning Jacket and Sigur Ros will be presented inside your subconscious, with no tampering of your existing thoughts. [Available for iPhone, iPad, and Inception.]
Prepare yourselves: iAlltheStuff aggregates all known social platforms and music blogs into a single buzzing HTML cube. Using a focused blast of Digg, New Digg, Reddit, Stumble Upon, Fark, Twitter, and Facebook, users will be able to "Super Like" live shows. Make sure you use the cube wisely; upon signing in, this new operating system emits a column of light 50 times greater then the sun, and creates a sonic boom that could blow the clothes off passersby. [Available in all electronic forms.]