Please Kill Me

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"Have you ever seen so many goddamn cell phones in your life?" --Will Johnson at an afternoon show

"Put your barbecue in your pocket and finish your beers. Are you ready to rock?" --Hives lead singer Pelle Almqvist at the Spin party

"It's like they're saying, 'I have a little boy to rape, and he's got the sweetest, tightest ass, but I'm not going to marry him because that would be wrong.'" --David Cross, on the Catholic Church covering up its sex scandal while opposing gay marriage

"Hey, look! It's Joe Perry!" --smart-aleck to a gullible crowd at the Driskill bar

"I know nobody does this besides Justin Timberlake, but pretend I'm him." --pianist Jamie Cullum, leading the crowd in a round of singing

"Thank you, Austin. I mean, Dallas." --Sparrows guitarist Ward Williams talking to the (mostly local) crowd at the Summer Break showcase

"I think we raised the bar for rock shows. Not us, personally, 'cause Chris shit his pants during the set." --Bowling for Soup's Jaret Reddick at the band's free show

"What band is handing out whistles? Oh, of course. The Polyphonic Spree." --a bystander at the Driskill just before a Spree show

"Now that the record industry is collapsing, maybe record labels will go back to being run by people who actually care about music." --Rhett Miller

"I hate myself and I want to die." --a T-shirt worn by patron of Irish pub Bull McCabe's

"Too much irony makes an untrue heart." --graffiti in the girl's bathroom of that same bar

More SXSW photos

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Sarah Hepola