4. Perform a "Classic" Rap Song
We're not impressed by your re-enactment of the immortal sketch at the beginning of "Baby Got Back," or by your two friends who so cleverly dedicated themselves to being your "back-up" dancers when you decided to fumble through the ancient rhyme scheme. We're not even impressed that you brought your sunglasses and gold chain to the bar for the sole purpose of performing this song. Your cadence is off, you're yelling the words, and somehow, you've managed to rap out of key. Just stop.
3. Your "Funny" Top 40 Bullshit No One Else Knows
Yes, it's hilarious to you and your five friends when you sarcastically sing that One Direction "Story of My Life" song, but believe it or not, not everyone listens to that fucking garbage. But we are now, thanks to you and your dumb friends who are cackling wildly to every word while the rest of us grit our teeth and contemplate smashing beer bottles over our own heads. You want to sing something that only you and your friends know, get a private karaoke room (called a "noreabang").