Best Of Dallas

The 10 Worst Women's Bar Bathrooms in Dallas

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5. Club Dada

In between sets on a packed night, just don’t even try. It’s worth forgoing water between drinks and accepting a righteous hangover just to avoid the line that becomes six deep at Club Dada. The one-bathroom wonder is large enough inside to do a cartwheel (just, uh, guessing), but that space might be better used by adding a second stall. Somehow it’s survived the ages of angry full-bladdered women. Good thing pregnant gals don’t frequent bars that often, because one of them would probably have burned Dada down by now.

2720 Elm St., Dallas,
4. The Free Man

For being an otherwise pretty straightforward place, The Free Man goes too far with the bathroom color choice — a job better left to the professionals, or someone who isn’t color blind. The top half of the walls are Hulk green, which are offset by bordeaux-red lower walls. It is the perhaps the worst color combination known to man. With the single panel of fluorescent lights hovering above, the room will not only make you look 10 years older, it'll make you look 10-shots sicker — like you just turned green from downing a half-gallon of rum on the lower-deck of a tiny boat on choppy seas. Don’t trust what this mirror tells you, and get out fast before you start to believe you look that bad.

2626 Commerce St., Dallas,
3. BBC

This high-volume Uptown bar needs to step up its bathroom game. The size of the women's quarters has the capacity to cut down on that insane wait time, yet there are often major bathroom snafus here: multiple stalls out of toilet paper, toilets not flushing or overflowing. Gross. On a high-volume night (read: every weekend), this is par for the course at BBC. It would be wise to assign some staff to check the bathrooms every once in a while or invest in a plumber who’s on-call on weekend evenings. It's badly needed for the literal back up. 

2800 Routh St., Dallas,
2. The Green Room

With nowhere to stand either inside the bathroom or outside it while you’re waiting in line, and only two extremely cramped stalls that give you no room to maneuver your romper on and off, the Green Room’s upper patio bathrooms are some of the worst in Dallas. On a busy night, be prepared to hold it or brave the throng of drunk co-eds yelling at you to hurry up. And don’t forget to BYOTP, because they frequently run out of toilet paper.

2715 Elm St., Dallas,
1. Lakewood Landing

If the heavily stained carpet on the way to the bathrooms doesn't tip you off, you're in for a real scare inside the ladies room at Lakewood Landing. This bar has the most existentially frightening bathrooms in Dallas, hands down. The dark purple walls absorb whatever light is emitted from the lone bulb in the center of the room, and the two stalls are pretty much pitch dark, so pray you stick that landing on the toilet seat or else come prepared with your cell phone flash light. The small, dark room combined with the very large yellow writing on the walls hearkens back to a particular horror movie. Or maybe horror movies — this bathroom is so bad it could have been the setting of any of them. Dallas filmmakers, this location scout is on us.

5818 Live Oak St., Dallas,

Watch for the 10 Worst Men's Bar Bathrooms in Dallas later this month.
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