U.S. Air Guitar Championships Coming to Dallas; Guess Who’s Judging?

Oops! Not only did I report last month that the U.S. Air Guitar Championship was skipping Dallas, I praised Allah that this assemblage of freaks and geeks weren’t coming to our area.

Well, now Shelley Wright of the U.S. Air Guitar Corporation (!) tells me that the regional finals of the event will indeed be in Dallas on July 16th 26th at the House of Blues.

And, in what must be considered an incredible lack of judgment, Wright has asked me to be one of the judges. Of course, I accepted straight away (as has music editor Pete Freedman).

Having me evaluate a seemingly endless collection of mullet-headed goofs acting out their phallic centered rock star dreams is sort of like having me write a review of a Widespread Panic show. Either way, it's not going to be pretty. There better be a constant supply of free alcohol or I am sending my 11-year-old son in my place. Child labor laws be damned. --Darryl Smyers

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