And Then There's Maude

Meet the new year, same as the old year -- at least when it comes to a certain resident of the Dallas Zoo. I so totally meant to make it out to the zoo this morning for the 11 a.m. Concerned Citizens for Jenny press conference (no kidding, 11 a.m.), but a two-houses-down wedding-slash-New Year's Eve party that lasted till the wee small hours made that rather, ah, inconvenient. So instead, this hangover announcement as we speak of reruns: Bea Arthur's the latest celeb to petition City Hall on Jenny the Elephant's behalf, insisting in a missive to Mayor Tom that she be moved to the sanctuary in Tennessee, the subject of a CBS Evening News segment tomorrow. Lily Tomlin, of course, did the same thing -- before shooting a PSA, addressing the Dallas City Council and performing at a Save Jenny benefit.

We'll post Arthur's letter later in the day as an update to this item, right before I submit it to the Pulitzer committee. But the Concerned Citizens aren't done fighting City Hall -- especially not after a recently released study revealed that "a zoo might be the least safe place in the world" for elephants, as Time put it. One word of caution to zoo officials: Do not piss off Oklahoma's Rue McClanahan. Valerie Harper, dunno about. But, really, Bea Arthur and the end of the holiday season can mean only one thing. Jump, why don't you, as I reconsider my priorities for the newly minted annum. --Robert Wilonsky

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