Baby, You Can Drive My Cart

Yeah, so the new Whole Foods, with its panty-waist spa, has a place to watch cheese mold, a chocolate drainage system, a taffy-yanker and a place to buy hair shirts, all christened by a proclamation from a mayor who specializes in bridge merchandising. That can't out hot-wax Central Market in Southlake, where they opened their doors yesterday with a 12-foot grocery cart powered by a 454 cubic-inch (they still make cubic inches?) V-8 engine. That's my kind of exfoliate.

And while Whole Foods posts a concierge, Central Market Southlake has a "foodie pulpit" in the produce department (which forbidden fruit goes with flounder?), a "Mozzarella Live" station where the stuff is made as you wait and -- here's the best thing -- a Salts of the Earth Salt Bar featuring Sodom and Gomorrah pillar grains from around the globe, including truffle-infused salt. Which means that while Whole Foods continues to attend to its self-righteous and pampered hippie-gone-bobo crowd, Central Market sticks to upscale salt-of-the-earth types with a yen for big American V-8s. Plus, Southlake has wine and beer, so you can drink and throttle past the foodie pulpit. --Mark Stuertz

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