The Best Emails I’ve Received About Dallas’ Confederate Monuments

There have been times, during the five years that I've spent at the Observer, that I've been surprised when a subject provoked hate mail or Facebook comments from you, our lovely readers. The ad hominems, for instance, fly far more frequently than I ever would've thought after articles about the Rangers or the Cowboys.

The reactions to the mere mention of Dallas' Confederate statues, whether the fallen equine tribute to the traitorous Virginian Robert E. Lee or the 60-foot-tall monstrosity that is the Confederate war memorial near City Hall, have come as less of a shock. Stars and Bars snowflakes just love to email me, Dallas City Council Member Philip Kingston — who's logged the missives he's received for over a year on Facebook — and anyone else who will listen with their complaints.

Any hint of calling out white supremacy or acknowledging the truth about what the Confederacy was — a treasonous rebellion whose chief aim was maintaining slavery — and the Lost Causers come out of the woodwork, forcing me to decipher their creative grammar and hope that they won't be able to find gas money the next time they want to drive into my city, our city, from the outer bounds of North Texas to protest what our elected officials decided by a clear super majority was the right thing to do.

Until the war memorial finally comes down and the Lee statue is taken off the city's hands — I wouldn't mind if Central Track got their hands on it — the mail, or email in this case, is going to keep coming, right on time.

Here's the best of what I've received so far:

1. Here's a delight from someone who identifies himself only as Stonewall Fucking Jackson:

"You are a brainwashed mental midget soyboy Beta I suggested you read a history book. But I know the truth is irrelevant to liberal cucks like you. If you hate the south then move fatass."

A couple of things here. First, any proud Texan would tell you the state isn't part of the South. It's a region unto itself, or part of the Southwest. Second, getting rid of the statue sounds a lot more Alpha than standing up for a bunch of losers.

2. This one comes from Concerned Citizen:

"Your revisionist history is deplorable you want to re-write history and pretend the Civil War never happened? General Lee was one of West Point’s most brightest pupils and only fought for the South because Virginia succeeded from the Union. He was against slavery and against the succession but remained loyal to his state. In Texas he would have been considered a patriot and hero and you advocate to burn his statue? Your an idiot millennial and your the reason our country is divided. This is last time I waste any precious time of mine reading your syndication and actually becoming less smart In doing so ..."

Most brightest? Maybe you meant most smartest. 3. At least J Marston kept it simple:

"You are a clueless liberal."

Better than having my emotional well-being threatened by a decision to remove a statue. 
4. Sam, just Sam, offered me a history lesson:

"Removing statues doesn’t change history"

Then what the hell are you so worried about?

5. Mary, who says she's from Florida, appears to be a little too into the president's Twitter:

"Bravo for the Bill introduced to try and save all Older Statues!!!!!!! You can NOT judge the Norms of that era by Today’s Society!!!!! Even a Few Years can make a difference! How much of our history are you willing to erase just to make Leftists happy and be politically correct??!!"

Ten bucks I can tell you who the "our" in "our history" is.

6. Lee (from California!) blends ad hominem with non-sequitur:

"How about we remove you you fat commie?"

While The Communist Manifesto came out before the Civil War, I'm not sure what it has to do with me being fat.

7. This one comes from Bernie in Louisiana:

"I hate that term 'tear down' . These men are soldiers no matter what the government may appear to be and trust me it's NOT what they say . Soldiers should never be attacked posthumously . Rerhinkin ' Lincoln author 'tthis is not an excerpt : America , when it comes to the Civil War ( it was not a Civil War) most know nothing but lies! Selective Indignation is what we all know . Lee's words on slavery as an evil institution is ubiquitous . He and Davis freed slaves before Grant , Sherman and Lincoln! On the other hand, to describe Lincoln throughout history as an abolitionist is the antithesis of his many speeches supporting white supremacy., Ask yourself this question . If the was was only about slavery then why didn't Lincoln free the slaves he controlled in the North? Or why didn't the US Congress include this in the Official War Aim Act of 1861 after Lincoln started an illegal war? Or why did said Congress pass an Amendment to the Constitution in March 1861 to allow the states to determine if they wanted slavery ? Why did Lincoln wait until two years after losing the war to write the bogus Emancipation Proclamation which did not free one slave ? Answer. he never wanted the slaves to stay in America as part of Henry Clay’s ( his mentor) recolonization society . He was a white supremacist as much as most whites in the 19th century! There is no short answer to dispel the lies of Northern textbooks which derive their thesis's from the ultimate so called primary source his surrogates’s biased record of Lincoln's altruistic motives. Those primary sources are nothing but an cover up of his many hidden agendas and faults written in the ten volume testament of the war by his two male secretaries Nicolay and Hay. Most all books followed this facade. Noticeably , missing are his use of micromanagement paranoia, drugs and deception in starting a war by forcing the South to fire the first shot ( Chinese Warlord Sun Tzu tried and true tactic ) at Fort Sumter a ruse accomplished by Captain David Porter USN over not only the public but his own Secretary of the Navy Gideon Welles . Look to the recently revealed war records where his letters are prima facie evidence. Why? To stop the South from cutting off the bulk of the US Treasury provided by Southern Cotton! Those revenues were essential to accomplish the goals of the Republican Party's Northern agenda as stated by Secretary of State William Seward’s " We are a northern party " acclaim to his followers in New York. Also, the homestead act doe whites only! Do not forget Centralized Banking . Seward capitulated with his appointment by Lincoln albeit a dismal prize from his rightful pursuit as the favorite of the 1860 nomination at the “Wigwam” Republican Convention, all stolen and orchestrated by the dubious politically machine of 19th Century Chicago ( Lincoln’s adopted home state) where the ballots were stolen ( Doris Kearns Team of Rivals ) and Lincoln's operatives lead by Judge David Davis counterfeited admission tickets which prohibited his opponent the then favorites Senator Seward and Ohio Governor Salmon Chase from the first ballot consensus. Chase also accepted a Cabinet position as Treasurer. These realities were conventional ( no pun intended) wisdom as was printed in all newspapers of the day. That corruption of the process positioned the political manipulation of Lincoln to acquire his desired position of everyone's “second choice”. So then after these leading candidates along with Michigan politico Bates campaigns began to falter Lincoln was the de facto nominee. Steward's own band was blocked from admission by paid rabble rousers screaming for “Honest Abe” with Railroad tycoons ( legal/lobbying clients of Honest Abe) eagerly providing the monies needed for their dark horse candidate to pull off a miracle victory in hopes of the ultimate payback the contract to build the Transcontinental Railroad . All surveys were previously concluded by several engineering firms all pointed below the 32 Parallel (South) . And whom was the US Secretary of War in charge of this first ever corporate welfare contract ? It was Jefferson Davis ! He knew the eventual northern route through mountains was not feasible or logical. But, with such free money available sixteen thousand dollars per mile ( 40k through mountains) and free land expropriated ( remember all those western movies about the bad railroad stealing and killing farmers for their land?) such big stakes dictated the order of the day even more than tariffs or slavery! Now, with the exclusive contract signed by the illegitimate president Lincoln as soon as he took office it clearly positioned the upcoming Civil War to be a prize worth killing for to Lincoln. Also, to raise funds needed of course he also raised the abhorrent tariff on the South once again! So before you delve into the motives of Robert W. Lee or the. In-slacking owning majority of southern peoples , take a look at why Lincoln according to the 1859 Philadelphia newspaper failed to even mention him as a major candidate. A previous losing senatorial race and a history of an unpopular one term stint as a US Congressman coupled with several failed campaigns . Is there any wonder why he was not on any southern ballots? He only got 38. 6 % of the popular vote much like his number one 20th Century fan Adolf Hitler . When a CNN reporter is repulsed by a Son of the Confederacy historian when he compares Lincoln to Hitler maybe he was correct in his assumption she did to know historical facts as she thought. She cut him off! However, if one reads Mein Kampt Hitler's manifesto as he is mentioned by the mass murderer as his favorite US President! Of course once “Honest Abe” acquired the "milk and honey" of politics which was a big campaign purse, luxury railroad car to travel across the country and even a mansion in Springfield, Illinois. Once the propaganda and political machine was in place all acquired from those Northern Tycoons of industry all bets were off! Oh and they did manage to bill the US Government for seventy - three million dollars for a fifty-three million dollar Union Pacific endeavor under the cover of the title Credit Mobiler by Lincoln's best friend the infamous Dr. Thomas Durant. Guess who owned the first railroad terminal property ? Nelson Judd Lincoln's law partner whom bought from “Honest Abe” after General Dodge the Project Manager previously had disclosed to him the secret location!"

Turns out, you don't have to pass a Turing test to love the Confederacy.