The wife and I are house-hunting, looking for something modest and sensible: good school district, open floor plan, lots of windows, pool out back, pool inside, bowling alley, racquetball court, theater, tennis courts, and -- this is a must -- a conservatory. You know: Your average East Dallas rebuild. We've been having a helluva time, but a release just hit my inbox that brightened our spirits:

Champ d'Or is on the auction block.

The Champ is a 48,000 square-foot Denton estate built for $45 million in 2002 by Alan Goldfield, former CEO of CellStar, and his wife, Shirley, who reportedly was urged by God to build the home. (God and Countrywide: Pretty much the same guys!) The home's been for sale pretty much ever since, and on March 30 it will go to auction, where it can be had by anyone with $10 million and a lot of Windex.

According to the press release announcing the auction, the home features all of the above, plus "a tea room modeled after New York's Tavern on the Green; multiple apartments that can be closed off for ideal privacy; a commercial laundry room; and a 20-car garage. The new owner would have the ability to add a heliport, horse barn or other amenities."

The home is modeled after a French chateau called Vaux-le-Vicomte, which translates loosely to "Hey honey, do you think the guest bathroom needs its own kitchen?"

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Here are some more photos, in case you and your friends need a place for your poker game want to start a Kickstarter campaign.

• Housing