Say it ain't so: Dallas -- the movie that will not die -- is still alive, despite the best efforts of several screenwriters and two now-former directors (Robert Luketic and Gurinder Chadha) who couldn't get the corpse out of the ground, much less off it. Reports Variety, the movie will now be a straight-up spoof -- thanks to the hiring of Betty Thomas, the former Hill Street Blues star-turned-director -- still starring John Travolta as J.R. Ewing.
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Thomas -- whose filmography includes the likes of I Spy with Owen Wilson and Howard Stern's Private Parts -- might be directing a screenplay from Hot Rod writer Pam Brady (who also co-wrote, with Matt Stone and Trey Parker, Team America: World Police). There's still no cast, aside from Travolta -- and, um, production's set to start in January, here and elsewhere if all goes according to what's turning into a very old plan. This thing gets better-sounding every year. --Robert Wilonsky