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Digging for Gold-diggers in Dallas. Like That's Hard.

J.C. Conklin, trying to put the "arch" in arched back

During our neverending search to do everything but put out an issue of this newspaper thing that apparently goes along with our blog, Unfair Park scours YouTube for the very latest in Dallas-oriented viral videos. And what we found this week doesn't get more Dallas-oriented than this: a series of gold-digging guides for Dallas women, chock full of all the stereotypes I love futilely defending myself against when people in other cities find out where I'm from. Oh, who am I kidding? My car's mileage hit three digits long ago, and my jewelry comes from Forever 21. Gold-digging is obviously not my forte. In fact, I could use some tips. And I now know where to get them.

Each short video features a different very, very goal-oriented character from former Dallas Morning News reporter and current Huffington Post-er J.C. Conklin's upcoming Random House book, The Dallas Women's Guide To Gold-digging With Pride. Conklin currently lives in Austin, and, according to the book's Web site, takes one hell of a coy about-the-author photo.

Conklin e-mailed me via YouTube late Monday evening, saying, "The book lends itself to parody as do husband hunters in general." Oh, it's a fiction book. Right. Of course. And here I was looking forward to a ripe expose on all those women sucking down ennui-tinis at Dragonfly every night. Or at least maybe some kind of clip-and-save quick-tips card I can put in my purse when I'm hanging out with all those ballers at Ship's down on Ross Ave.

Conklin "thought [the videos] would be a quick visual way to telegraph what the book's style is," so she "sanctioned, encouraged, bribed and blackmailed" a few Texas actresses into making the clips. They're after the jump. --Andrea Grimes

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