The A.P. is reporting that Heritage Auctions, the purveyor of valuable and collectible arcana, is hawking the hat and guns of Annie Oakley, the famed sharpshooter who could split a playing card, edge-on, with a bullet.
The items, which are being put up for sale by some of Oakley's California-based descendents, go up for auction Sunday. Heritage estimates the guns to be valued at $20,000 to $50,000, the hat a relatively paltry $4,000.
Here's a guess of how things will play out. Upon discovering that native artifacts may have been removed from Oakley's home state for sale, Ohio Governor John Kasich will attempt to have the auction blocked, filing a last-minute injunction on Saturday morning, locking the two sides in determined opposition until Heritage finds out that Kasich isn't actually an enemy of Heritage, having purchased a watch hewn from a meteoroid at the auction, but someone they can work with. Cue the kumbaya moment, after which the parties agree to work together and enlist a team of paleontologists to determine the artifacts' true provenance.
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That's how these auctions always work, right?