Formulating Christmas gift lists and pondering what in the world to get the Dallas Mavericks fan who has everything? I mean, in recent times the Mavs have rid themselves ofthe albatross
, made the NBA Finals andfinally beaten the Warriors
. Short of a time machine that could zap us back to the start of the fourth quarter inGame 3 of the 2006 Finals
, what else could there possibly be?
Why, the team’s Above The Rim 2007-08 gift catalog, silly. Consider it the sporty version of Neiman Marcus’ to-die-for annual. Over the weekend I got my grubby little hands on the catalog -- it “goes beyond foam fingers,” says owner Mark Cuban -- that was mailed to season-ticket holders and will soon be available for purchase at the American Airlines Center’s team shop. And I must admit, “Wow.”
Unless you’re a MFFL that won last week’s lottery or have Cuban’s bank account PIN, most of the stuff belongs on FantasyIsland.com. But just in case, jot down 214-747-MAVS and keep this ranking of the magazine’s 10 most expensive gifts handy.
10. Golf ($25,000): Granted, it’s a round with Jerry Stackhouse at Dallas National Golf Club, but you’d have to beat him out of a $8,333 Nassau bet just to break even.
9. Travel ($300,000): A four-day, three-night excursion for you and seven guests to Paradise Island, Bahamas. Half the fun is getting there with Devin Harris on the team’s private jet.
8. Owner For A Day ($20,000): Lunch with team execs, sit courtside and attend the post-game press conference. Additional surcharge for liberty to berate officials.
7. Orange County Chopper ($100,000): Customized with Mavs logos and includes parking at all home games.
6. Game Room ($100,000): Complete with custom NBA hardwood floor, two framed game-worn Mavs jerseys, logo on a wall, leather Mavs recliners, custom pool table and life-sized Dirk Nowitzki bobblehead. What, no electronic gizmos from the king of the Internet?
5. Mavs Mustang ($90,000): Mavs logo on the hood and blue flames along the doors. Don’t think it comes with one of those really loud and annoying muffler enhancer thingies, but I’d check first.
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4. Mavs Bentley ($320,000): See No. 5. Insert class, home-game parking and Grey Poupon.
3. Player For A Day ($20,000): Comes with a genuine one-day contract signed by Cuban, personalized team photo and authentic personalized jersey (No. 41 is taken). You’ll get to suit up and warm-up with the team, attend morning shootaround, get interviewed by Mavs announcers on live TV and host a post-game party in your suite at the W Hotel. Groupies not included.
2. Dirk Doll ($20,000): Imagine the dinner conversations you’ll spark with your life-sized, 7-foot bobblehead with the lifetime guarantee. And imagine the questions marks it’ll create after Nowitzki some day retires and disappears back to Wurzburg.
1. Dancer For A Night ($20,000): After practicing, and sweating, with the hotties for two weeks, you’ll perform with the group during a game with your friends and family watching from your private suite. The gift’s real value: sleepover in your suite at W Hotel. Pillow fight? --Richie Whitt