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He Was Just Big-Boned

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Dinosaurs and humans once roamed the earth together -- ain't that right, Chaka? Also: "The fossil record speaks of catastrophic events happening several thousand years ago rather than slow processes taking place over millions or billions of years as is held by the popular establishment." In other words, the Mt. Blanco Fossil Museum in Crosbyton, 35 miles east of Lubbock, is a slice of creationist heaven -- for now.

Tomorrow, during Dallas-based Heritage Auction Gallery's natural history sale-of-the-centuries, Mt. Blanco will attempt to get rid of the so-called "Lone Star" mastodon skull, which was discovered three years ago in a gravel pit outside of La Grange. Mt. Blanco's director and curator, Joe Taylor, says the place will close if he can't unload the sucker -- or, as the Associated Press puts it, "A Texas museum that teaches creationism is counting on the auction of a prehistoric mastodon skull to stave off extinction," haw haw.

Opening bid's $60,000, but Heritage figures it to go for somewhere between $120,000 and $160,000. Or you could just save yer pennies for the largest gold nugget in the Western Hemisphere, expected to fetch upwards of a million bucks tomorrow. Me, I might try to buy some of Taylor's billboard art from the 1970s, which he says hung over the Sunset Strip; an original Olivia Newton-John would look great over the fireplace. --Robert Wilonsky

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