Some crimes are petty; others, decidedly cruel. What kind of a heartless bastard goes around stealing folks' sex furniture? The dry cleaning bill alone would be reason enough to shop new, anyway. Except that when the only fluid exchange is virtual, there's no need to give your screwin' settee a scrub down.
According to this story on Top Tech News today, the heist happened in Second Life, and a Dallas man may be the alleged culprit. See, a Californian named Kevin Alderman, screen name Stroker Serpentine, manufactures virtual sex furniture for real cash in Second Life. (If you're not familiar with Second Life, you might check out my column on the virtual world. Along with the more unusual activities available to users, like flying and walking on volcanos, avatars can tap little activity icons and then tap some ass.) Alderman's furniture comes with code that, according to the Top Tech News article, "facilitates sex" between avatars. Mmmm, talk dirty to me, Top Tech!
Anyway, in a recent lawsuit, Kevin/Stroker accuses a fellow Second Lifer, Volkov Catteneo, of stealing the code to his carnal couches and selling the goods. Catteneo, who told Reuters he is "not some kind of noob," doesn't have a permanent address. However, private investigations led authorities to 19-year-old Robert Leatherwood of Dallas.
I found two 19-year-old Texan Robert Leatherwoods on MySpace (I stalk with the best of them). Could be this guy, who's in Lubbock, which means he's probably at Tech -- which means he won't have a permanent address unless he's planning on living in his frosh dorm for the rest of his life. Or, it could be this friendless soul with a Beavis picture. Or it might be neither one.
Because, look, I'm not saying bro-tastic frat boys like our Techie here aren't capable of doing some computorial damage, but Beavis pictures are more the speed of someone who gets off on stealing sex furniture. Or doing something to sex furniture. --Andrea Grimes
Keep the Dallas Observer Free... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Dallas with no paywalls.