Those of us at the headquarters of Zayra Watch 2006 just about had a conniption fit last night when, during Rock Star: Supernova, the Latina warbler commited the sin of all sins: She attempted to out-Bowie Bowie. Sweetie, it just cannot be done. You just don't go there. And you certainly don't attempt to pull off "All the Young Dudes" donned in a gold lame strapless catsuit, black top hat and platform stilettos. David Bowie can anytime he wants. You can't, and you didn't.
Alvarez admitted in a not-at-all conceited talking head interview on last night's episode that her bizarre costuming is an effort to impress herself first and then offer the audience a little fantasy. No chance in hell anyone will ever suspect it isn't always about her now. (Unfortunately, in the interview she did not address her inability to hit actual notes.) Last week, Supernova admitted they kept the Puerto Rican pet around to "see what [she's] gonna do" each week, but seriously, boys, it's getting painful and insulting...not only to viewers, but to her. Leave her with that shred of dignity she doesn't realize she has and pull the plug.
Also hanging on by a thread (especially when the sneak peak of the bottom three last night included her as well as Zayra) is Patrice Pike. Her guitar-playing efforts on the John Lennon classic "Instant Karma" last night may have impressed the band, but Pike just seems to be content to cruise along in third, only shifting into high gears when she lands in the bottom three. We were unimpressed with her Lennon in comparison to last Wednesday's ass-saving performance of Jeff Buckley's "Eternal Life."
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Last night, Rock Star: Supernova also gave us tracks by Queen, Radiohead, the Stones, Talking Heads and others. And while two of our favorites were butchered by Dallas ladies, we still have faith in Texas: Houston's Dilana pulled off yet another single-song rock show with The Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again." She held her own on stage alongside Gilby Clarke and got what could possibly be the compliment of the show from her stagemate: "And after that, I have no doubt that a woman can front our band." Hey, we may have been wrong about Patrice, but we called Dilana for the final three from the start. Just sayin'. --Merritt Martin