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This is apparently a "kids small" T-shirt -- or, at least, that's how it's being sold on eBay. Because, yeah, nothing says, "I sure do love you, son" like giving him some woman's, uh, gently used Dallas Cowboys jersey. And if you're so interested, the same a) model, b) stripper or c) elementary-school teacher will also sell you an Emmitt Smith kids jersey and vintage Steve Nash Mavs tank off her top. --Robert Wilonsky