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Let Me Ask To Speak With the Sportatorium: 5.19.09

Steal from Channel 8's old Let Me Speak To the Manger Manager and The Ticket's old Ask the Hard Line and what do you get?

A Tuesday time-waster featuring a bunch of people asking questions and one poor schmuck doing all the answering.

Q: Do you like salad?

   A: Only when it's tossed.

Q: Are you gay?

   A: Yes, extremely happy. Beyond content. Quickly approach giddy. Can't you tell?

Q: Is it Dirk No-VIT-ski or No-WIT-ski?

   A: no-WIT-ski.

Q: What was the decision-making process behind The Ticket's Plus-1 tryouts?

   A: After being underwhelmed by myself and the other candidates, I suspect The Ticket looked at the steady ratings and the substantial financial savings and merely promoted Corby. I do know that at one point a dude named Bob Sturm was seriously considered for Hammer's old seat.

Q: What's up with the old Live 105.3 hosts?

   A: See earlier today. Dan O'Malley is resurfacing weekends on The Fan. I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think J.D. Ryan, like Russ, is getting paid his salary through April 11 as well.

Q: Have you or Wilonsky been back on The Ticket since the Hammer story?

   A: I'm pretty sure Robert has, but I have not been invited back. Firstly, I couldn't because I'm on The Fan. Secondly, I hear management didn't take too kindly to the truth about their dealings with Greggo being revealed.

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Q: What's your thickness and width?

   A: I'm 5-9 and 165 pounds. Surely that's what you mean, right?

Q: Have you put any of the weight on you lost on The Master Cleanser?

   A: Yes. I lost 14 pounds in 10 days on that diet, so I expected to gain some back. I guess I've gained back nine of the 14. Why, do these boxers make me look fat?

Keep the Dallas Observer Free... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Dallas with no paywalls.

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Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.