News

Live Blog: Winter Storm Cleon Is Coming For All Of Us

Page 4 of 4

20:45

Moving colors, you guys. Some of the colors are quite near Dallas. Some less so. In other news, apparently the City is salting things (roads, not food), and there are no power outages yet. Surely, however, it is only a matter of time until I have to continue this blog using only smoke signals. However, I am also informed that Wal-Mart is out of fire starters. So, we're screwed.

*****

20:15

I just foolishly tried going outside to get something out of my car. Aside from the fleeing children, the shooting stars, the burning bushes, and other manifold symbolism, my car is literally entombed in ice.

You guys.

The prophecies.

They were all true. All the mocking tone of this blog, all the attempts at light-heartedness, and I had to pull really hard to get into my car.

Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.

*****

19:45

Farewell, brave Denton. You were the first to go. Apart from Grapevine.

*****

19:30

Finally, confirmation. As yet, no word on who is flying the helicopters. We're thinking a highly talented gorilla.

*****

18:20

A moment's silence for the lost light shows scheduled for tonight. Grapevine, which if you'll remember, we lost earlier on, has cancelled its Parade of Lights, along with the cancellation of the City itself by our Lord and Savior. Garland says their Christmas on the Square is postponed until Thursday, when it will take place within Superman's Fortress of Solitude, and Grand Prairie has cancelled a tree lighting ceremony even though it was indoors.

UNT, UNTDallas, DISD, PISD, and TWU have cancelled everything, in what must go down as a dark day for acroynms everywhere. And Dallas Zoo has wisely chosen to shelter the many creatures it houses, possibly in an ark. We're still waiting on ark confirmation there.

*****

18:00

Meanwhile, our neighbors beyond the wall (if you can call Arlington a wall, which it definitely isn't) are clinging on for dear life.

ICE LIGHTNING, GUYS. THAT'S ALL WE NEED.

Delkus, meanwhile, has only taken his goddamn jacket off.

*****

17:00

Some of you may have thought I was dead. You are wrong. I have braved not only I-35, but Harry Hines Boulevard, and an unnamed suburban Wal-Mart to bring you this update.

I can report that the shelves are being cleared by frantic shoppers. First to go are the beers, which are being pounced upon by people who have no clue that the only way to buy is the best ABV to price ratio.

Meanwhile, shoppers crowd around the checkouts, seemingly unable to riot in the traditional American sense during an emergency.

I am now safely ensconced in a bunker somewhere north of Dallas, selflessly putting myself between the storm and downtown. I will report from the scene.

Continue over the page to read the morning and afternoon's coverage.

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Gavin Cleaver
Contact: Gavin Cleaver