Over the weekend, the Wise County Sheriff's Department received a call unusual in the decidedly nontropical climes of North Texas: There was a monkey was the loose.
Turns out, it wasn't a monkey. It was a kinkajou. And deputies discovered that kinkajous don't really like people, or anything else for that matter.
According to Fox 4, the animal, which is a rainforest-dwelling, South American cousin of the raccoon, bit through a responding deputy's puncture-proof gloves before it was subdued and taken to the Wise County Animal Shelter.
There, he promptly escaped from his cage and began terrorizing the cats that were being kept nearby.
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And now for the best part: "He's been named Rat," Fox 4 reports, "which is short for Rat Bastard because the officers said he's a mean little guy."
That shouldn't be terribly surprising to students of the kinkajou's Wikipedia page. They are generally docile and quiet, and thus are sometimes kept as exotic pets.
However, they can occasionally be aggressive. Kinkajous dislike sudden movements, noise and being awake during the day. An agitated kinkajou may emit a scream and attack, usually clawing its victim and sometimes biting deeply. It has recently been discovered that pet kinkajous in the United States can be carriers of the roundworm Baylisascaris procyonis, which is capable of causing severe morbidity and even death in the owner, if infected.
Which makes it sound like the deputy might need a bit more than Neosporin. A message has been left with the Wise County Sheriff's Department, in case they feel like providing any additional details.