Nine: The Trickiest, Worstest Movie Ever

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Went on a date. To re-boot my chivalry, I let her pick the movie.


Oh boy.

She says, "It's about a guy who fantasizes about hot chicks."

I say (fingers crossed), "I'm in. Are we talking porn?"

So we go to Magnolia theater in West Village, have a drink and there, writhing around on a stage in skimpy, black undies, are Nicole Kidman, Fergie, Penelope Cruz and Kate Hudson.

One problem. One gigantic, deal-breaking problem ...

It's a friggin' musical.

She says, "I thought the girls would make up for it."

I say, "Paybacks are hell."

Aside from seeing Avatar, suggestions?

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