No, Seriously. A Chocolate Fountain.

I just got back from a tour of the new Whole Foods in Preston Forest -- yeah, I know, I am so friggin' special -- and we'll have plenty to say about the joint tomorrow morning, before its 10 a.m. debut to the general public. But a few things, in advance: The shelves are almost stocked, the cases are almost full, the spa's almost ready, but there's still plenty of work to be done in the next 22 hours. "All hands are on deck," says Karen Lukin, spokesperson for the local Whole Foods locations. And before the doors open tomorrow morning, someone -- perhaps Whole Foods' fave customer herself -- will read a mayoral proclamation; so, take that, Central Market.

The place is still hiring, if you're interested; it's nearly doubled the amount of "team members," from 180 to more than 300. So that's nice. And necessary too: The new place is 52,000 square feet -- or more than twice the size of the 20,000-square-foot location across the street, the future of which is still up for grabs. (Here's a funny side note: The move also means Whole Foods' North Dallas location now has a new city councilperson. It used to be in Mitchell Rasansky's district; now, Linda Koop gets to take all the credit.) Of those 52,000 square feet, 4,500 of them are dedicated to the upstairs spa, which begins taking reservations tomorrow morning. It's quite a scene up there, with room after room of treatment tables and even a sorta-off-to-the-side area where men can go get their backs waxed (or women too, and if that's you, maybe you need to hang with this funky lady). If you want to be among the first for a mani-pedi day at a grocery store, call 214-363-9760 tomorrow morning, but not sooner.

Till tomorrow, then, let me leave you with this: There's a new job title at Whole Foods, "pit boss." Oh, and remember these phrases: "chocolate fountain," "humidity-controlled cheese case," "taffy puller," "concierge desk" and "dry-aging case" and "gift shop." I know, I know. You just wanna know where to buy milk. --Robert Wilonsky

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Robert Wilonsky
Contact: Robert Wilonsky