Oh, For Cryin' Out Loud

Amidst all the election hubbub, it seems we haven't paid attention to one very important role: Official Town Crier. Yeah, that's what I said. Town crier. Hansel von Quenzer--man about town and occasional enema-shooting performer--believes he's just the man for the job. And he's serious enough about it to have launched an ad campaign:

His Web site states that "Crier Quenzer is carrying on a tradition steeped in integrity and ceremonial circumstance since the year 1066 at the Battle of Hastings." That's a lot of integrity we're not real used to 'round these parts as Dallas was founded in but 1841. (But hey, can't hurt, right?) It is noted as well that his services are used by "blue chip companies" as well as "government agencies." And he is, of course, available for weddings.

Perhaps we've gone too modern, too mainstream with all these political positions--governors, mayors, judges and the like. Maybe there's more to be said for a bell and scroll, an affected British accent...and the requisite white tights, much like those worn by our own Jim Schutze on rare, veddy special occasions. --Merritt Martin

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