Raising Dallas

Raising Dallas: We suppose this is good news, in a way. A guard at Dallas County's jail was fired last week for her treatment of an inmate, and the inmate didn't die. In fact, the guard was canned for paying perhaps too much attention to one of her charges. Who says things aren't looking up at the jail under Sheriff Lupe Valdez's watch? (Well, we do, but never mind that now.)

This is what we know: On Friday, the Sheriff's Department fired a young female detention service officer after she had "some sort of inappropriate relationship" with an inmate, according to sheriff's spokesman Raul Reyna. Reyna says that while the department did not determine if there was a physical relationship, photos of the guard and the inmate have turned up on a Web site--on MySpace, no less, according to rumors we're hearing.

"She was a probationary detention service officer," Reyna writes in an e-mail. "We believe they met while he was incarcerated and their relationship continued upon his release. Unsure who found pictures." (They apparently were taken after the inmate was released.)

If it's true they were on MySpace, you can score another one for the social networking site, which is single-handedly improving workplace productivity by weeding out the sort of employees dim enough to post embarrassing personal information and/or pictures on the site for all the world--and their bosses--to see.

Still, Buzz is a fan of love, even the inappropriate kind (especially the inappropriate kind, actually). So we wish the couple well. In fact, we can see a romantic comedy being made from their story--à la Raising Arizona. Let's see: She's coming off a bad break-up with a cheatin' boyfriend. He's looking to go straight. He's perfect. She knows exactly where he was last night and the night before that, and so on. Nor does she have to worry about her man meeting someone new. But what happens when the inmate is released (cue any Coldplay single)? Can they remain in love in a world where freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose?

Even Buzz gets a part: Dylan McDermott plays the role of the intrepid reporter who fearlessly chronicles the various imbroglios that regularly envelop the Sheriff's Department. Scarlett Johansson plays Buzz's love interest. Expect lots of gratuitous sex scenes.

Rosie Perez plays Sheriff Valdez, a challenging role that will require her to remain silent the entire film.

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Matt Pulle And Patrick William

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