� Danny Moloshok / Blue Pixel for MBP 2006
The woman in me says this is one bad dress Zayra Alvarez is wearing.

Rock Star Goes Opry

So, last week on no one's favorite show, Rock Star: Supernova, Zayra Alvarez landed in the bottom three after an atrocious rendition of The Kinks' "You Really Got Me"--and rightfully so, based on the catsuit alone. Somehow she slinked by the judges after performing the same song on what I like to call the Wednesday Redemption Show, during which the bottom three are given the opportunity to perform any song they wish for Tommy Lee, Gilby Clarke and Jason Newsted in an effort to sort of erase the unfortunate numbers from the night before and avoid getting ejected from future Supernova frontpersondom. She also did copious backpedaling to try to recover from insulting the band. And, somehow, Zayra survived.

Last night, Alvarez fought through the pain with an even-slower-than-R.E.M. version of (yeah, you guessed it) "Everybody Hurts." Poor, poor Zayra. She warbled through the ballad wearing a dress that can only be described as a Crystal Gayle original without a slip. The entire performance was, now that I think about it, a bit like if Gayle were Puerto Rican and consistantly sharp...with excessive vibrato...and unnecessary dramatic staring into the camera. And yet, Lee called it "very yummy," while Clarke and co-host Dave Navarro said they stood corrected on their criticism of her the week prior. It was absolutely unbelievable...until we rewound the TiVo and saw that see-through dress again. Hmmm. Perhaps there is something to be said for nixing the catsuit.

As for former Dallasite Patrice Pike? She rocked out ever so safely to the Beatles' "Helter Skelter" and most likely secured her spot in the Rock Star mansion for one more week. --Merritt Martin

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