Schutze Offers Some Tips, Many Tips

Personal unsolicited note of political advice from Jim Schutze to city council candidate Jill Kotvis. Below please find short list of translations from PublicSpeak to reality:

PublicSpeak: “This campaign intends to stick to the issues, and we urge our opponent to do the same.”

… means in reality: “Guilty as charged, sir!”

PublicSpeak: “We will not dignify these allegations with a serious response.”

… means in reality, “I cannot tell a lie, yerroner. I done it.”

PublicSpeak: “These are old stories that have been recycled for political gain, and we regret that our opponent chooses to stoop to this level instead of addressing the many legitimate and pressing issues that are so urgently important to this district.”

Means, “Slap the cuffs on me, Boss, I’m ready to roll.”

No, you didn’t lie to The Dallas Morning News. But you tried to slick out of it. Want to get it behind you? Go straight to it. Cleanse the wound. It hurts. S’posed to.

Know why I don’t run for office in spite of my looks? Yeah. Screw pain. Not up for all that. Feel for ya. I’ll contribute a bottle of rubbing alcohol. You bring the matches. (Hey, don’t disappoint me and drink it, O.K.?) --Jim Schutze

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