Gettin' Nikoloff: The future Playboy spread--and current SMU student--loves her some Taylor Hicks and Paris Hilton. Deep, Jen, deep.

SMU's Real Boob

Lucky SMU sophomore Jordan "Jen" Nikoloff appears to have come out on top at the Playboy audition yesterday. The photog liked her best, and she'll go back for more pictures later this week. Of her achievement, Jordan is quoted in The Dallas Morning News as saying, "If I can pose for Playboy, I can do anything."

That's right, honey. Anything. And anyone, probably. Here's her photo from MySpace, where J.Nik prefers to pose in a very classy pearl necklace. On Facebook she appears to be blessed with an ample oral cavity.

But let's dig deeper into the J.Nik psyche. Who is this lust'rous nymph soon to be representing our fair city in the pages of Playboy? What doth she desire?

Well, $890 Ferragamo riding boots, for one. Her TheThingsIWant.com wishlist is comprised mostly of high-priced designer footwear and bags, with the exception of the $104.90 pair of Franco Sarto boots she refers to as the "cheapest designer boot you'll find." (Which is much like saying American Eagle jeans are the cheapest couture pants you'll find.)

According to her MySpace profile, she's a "playful kisser" (rawr!) and a big enough Daniel Powter fan that she posted his "Bad Day" video on her profile. Of all the people in the world she'd like to meet, she writes that Taylor Hicks takes the cake. Why? "I love him because he has the best personality in the entire universe and is just THE most unique person I've ever seen, and that's so hard to come by these days." No kidding, Powterfan.

She's also got love for Paris Hilton, who is "absolutely fabulous" despite the fact she's "been through so much." Like growing up insanely wealthy, skinny and too dumb to realize when you're hated by the free and un-free world, I guess. But J.Nik sympathizes: "Honestly, she gets a lot of undeserved crap and I admire her for dealing with all of the negative publicity the way she does." (Hyperlink's all mine.)

The 19-year-old international studies major (art history minor) is a member of the Young Republicans (doin' Bush proud, no doubt) and pledged Alpha Chi Omega. I am sure that the GOP and AXO Greeks across the country will be proud to know that, in a few months' time, gentlemen the world over will be carefully wiping up after themselves after a few minutes alone with a page full o'Jen. Dallas represent, J.Nik, represent. --Andrea Grimes

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