Oh, my gosh, Tom Leppert has made Dwaine Caraway the new mayor -- thank you so much for that, Tom -- and I just realized I never finished the fictional saga I was writing for you, my cherished readers, about The Adventures of Arthur and Archie. So sorry about that. Other things just got in the way. You know, like editors. (Editor's note: You're welcome, dearest Friends of Unfair Park.)
You will remember, I know, that when we left them, Arthur and Archie, the famous friends of Mayor Caraway, were in Uptown, demanding that the police deliver them a pizza. All I can do at this late date is sort of summarize and tell you that they did get their pizza; the police chief recovered from his nervous breakdown; and Carol Reed ascended back into heaven. Happy endings for all, in other words.
Of course, all of that was just foolishness and something I was doing to pass the time. Now that Mayor Caraway is about to take office, I think we have more important things to consider.
For example, will there be a place for Arthur and Archie in his administration? You may recall that the famous duo came into the limelight for the first time in the recent unfortunate incident in which the now mayor of Dallas called the police chief and requested a special squad be sent out to his house to get his wife in order.
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The now mayor of Dallas, who was not mayor at that time, fibbed about things and told reporters at first he had called police because his friends, Arthur and Archie, were causing a ruckus, arguing over a football game. Now all this time has passed, and we still haven't had a chance to meet the famous duo in person. That's why I was making up a story about them. I knew people were hungry to know more.
I can't wait for the first mayoral news conference. I want to ask if the mayor of Dallas has considered putting Arthur and Archie in charge of the city's next Super Bowl bid. I bet they could handle that seat thing better than Jerry did.
Once again, Tom Leppert, a great big thank you. I can't remember when a mayor of Dallas left this city in a situation quite like this one.