The Top 10 Bodyguards in Case of Zombie Apocalypse

So you're having a beer at your favorite watering hole. Next thing you know, zombies.

Through the door. Crashing in the windows. Falling from the ceiling. Purgatory-confined, blood-thirsty zombies. Everywhere.

This hasn't happened to me in a while, but when it does I want an athlete to be my bodyguard. A big, scary, tattooed, pierced, fearless dude that has a chance to fight off the zombies and keep me from, ya know, being a dead man's dinner.

But who?

Couple of the Denver Thuggets have "the look", but I wonder if The Bird Man would make a good Wing Man? Nawwww, too skinny.

When the zombies attack, the guy I want at my side is ... 

10. Mike Tyson -

Considering his loose screws, the hunted might turn hunter.

9. Dennis Rodman -

Serious concern about him leaving his post to organize a zombie orgy.


8. Sean Avery -

Only human capable of agitating zombies.


1. Ed "Too Tall" Jones - Ferociously aggressive, 6-foot-9 and once a professional boxer.

I suppose you think your zombie bodyguard can beat up my zombie bodyguard?

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