If you know me, you know the only the reason I'm happy to have George Dubya Bush back in Dallas is because it means he's no longer in Washington, D.C.
As I've said all along, he's a good guy. Just a really bad President.
But that's ancient history, right? Today we shake the Etch-o-Sketch for a clean slate. Today is Inauguration Day 2009!
New hope. New change. New punching bags.
"Didja hear about the latest sex fetish trend at The White House? Bush is out; Boobs are in." And you thought I couldn't be bipartisan?
Let the record show that on Jan. 20, 2009, the day we officially christened "President Barack Obama":
*Tony Romo is the quarterback of a monumentally underwhelming Cowboys' outfit.
*Jason Kidd is taking a second turn at getting the Mavericks over the hump.
*Mike Modano is an NHL All-Star for the Stars.
*Josh Hamilton is the best Ranger on a team desperate for pitching and defense.
Hmm, wonder what was going on during other Presidential inaugurations ...
We know that Lyndon Baines Johnson's first Inauguration Day was a somber event, hastily organized aboard Air Force One on the tarmac at Love Field in the aftermath of President Kennedy's assassination in Dallas.
But did you also know:
Jan. 20, 1969. Richard M. Nixon:
Quarterback Don Meredith and receiver Bob Hayes are two weeks removed from leading the Cowboys to a 17-13 victory over the Vikings in the NFL's consolation "Playoff Bowl" in Miami.
Aug. 9, 1974. Gerald R. Ford:
Led by Fergie Jenkins (25 wins, 2.82 ERA), AL MVP Jeff Burroughs, AL Rookie of the Year Mike Hargrove and AL Manager of the Year Billy Martin, the upstart Texas Rangers creep within 3 1/2 games in the American League West race before ultimately finishing second to the eventual World Series champion Oakland A's.
Jan. 20, 1977. James E. Carter:
After amassing 202 yards on 32 carries in a Sugar Bowl victory over Georgia, future Cowboys' running back Tony Dorsett basks in the glow of leading his Pitt Panthers to college football's National Championship.
Jan. 20, 1981. Ronald W. Reagan:
While the Cowboys are nine days removed from a bitter loss to the Eagles in the NFC Championship Game, the expansion Dallas Mavericks, despite 25 points from Bill Robinzine and 16 rebounds from Tom LaGarde, lose to the Kansas City Kings, 104-91, to fall to 8-42 and launch a 15-game losing streak.
Jan. 20, 1989. George H.W. Bush:
Coming off a dismal 3-13 season the Cowboys eye a potential No. 1 overall draft pick who has just starred in the Cotton Bowl named Troy Aikman, oblivious that new owner Jerry Jones will fire Tom Landry in T-minus 36 days.
Jan. 20, 1993. William J. Clinton:
*Just three days ago Alvin Harper took a gutsy slant route and sealed the Cowboys' upset of the 49ers of the NFC Championship Game. In 11 days Aikman will throw four touchdown passes in a romp over Buffalo in Super Bowl XXVII.
*Mike Modano is an NHL All-Star.
*Rangers need pitching, defense.
Jan. 20, 2001. George W. Bush:
*On their way to a 53-win season and a first-round upset of the Utah Jazz in the playoffs, the Mavericks get 27 points and 12 rebounds from Dirk Nowitzki to whip the Denver Nuggets.
*Mike Modano is an All-Star.
*Rangers need pitching, defense.
Jan. 20, 2013. ???:
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*Tony Romo: Peaking?
*Mike Modano: Coaching?
*Jason Kidd: Reviled or Revered?
*Rangers: Still searching for pitching, defense?