What Do Rick Perry and Nigerian E-Mail Scammers Have in Common? You.

You know what the pigeon drop is, right? Some scam artist convinces an old lady she can get $10,000 for free by withdrawing a mere $1,000 from her bank account. All she has to do is allow the scam artist to hold her thousand dollars for half an hour. I don't have to tell you how it ends.

So do we really not get that Governor Rick Perry is doing a pigeon drop on the whole state? I'm talking about all this crap he's been preaching -- how rich we're going to be because we gave away lots of tax money to his business buddies but didn't bring much money back in as taxes.

Wait. Think about it. We give the money away to Perry's friends. We don't bring in much money. And we get rich?

No. We don't. We get a $25 billion state budget deficit and a bunch of Tea Party voodoo wackos telling us they can come up the money by adopting "solid business practices."

What solid business practices? Like Wall Street? The banking industry? Accounting? Real estate? Why not just bring in those guys who tell you they can fix your driveway for $1,500 and then pour motor oil on it?

Why would anybody go to American business leadership for guidance at this point in history? Before I trusted the business community to fix state government, I think I'd consult the guy who writes me all the time about my inheritance in Nigeria.

In order to fix a $25 billion budget without raising taxes, they're going to have to empty out the prisons, shut down the public schools, allow the state's roads and bridges to turn to rubble and toss the orphans and the old folks out in the street.

When that happens, I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to hear everybody standing around bawling outside the bank with their fat envelopes full of folded newspaper talking about, "That nice Mr. Perry told me I'd be rich."

Caveat dumbass.

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Jim Schutze has been the city columnist for the Dallas Observer since 1998. He has been a recipient of the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies’ national award for best commentary and Lincoln University’s national Unity Award for writing on civil rights and racial issues. In 2011 he was admitted to the Texas Institute of Letters.
Contact: Jim Schutze