What the Hell Was Going on at Joe Simpson's House, Anyway?

Jessica Simpson performed at the Kennedy Center Honors. She will never actually get a Kennedy Center honor, course.

Frankly, the video of Jessica Simpson flubbing Dolly Parton's "9 to 5" during Sunday night's Kennedy Center Honors performance reveals the whole affair much ado about not much. While it's absolutely odd -- she's holding her stomach as though she's been gut-shot, she forgets the words despite the use of a TelePrompTer, and she flees in terror -- it hardly suggests the nervous breakdown earlier AP reports indicated. Turns out People was, more or less, right. Nonetheless, I am making the accompanying photo a screensaver for the rest of the week.

In other Simpson-related news, the guy who used to live with the Simpson family in Richardson -- actor Lane Garrison, ex of Prison Break -- has far more to worry about than flubbing the line to a bad song. There's no good way to excuse this: On Saturday night he crashed his Land Rover into a tree in Beverly Hills, killing a 17-year-old boy sitting in the back seat and injuring two 15-year-olds girls also in the car. Of course, Garrison's offering an excuse through his high-priced lawyer. And it's one of those excuses people in Los Angeles offer up when they think life is like the movies or a highly overrated Fox TV series.

Reports TMZ.com, attorney Harland Braun says Garrison never met the kids till Saturday, when he was in a grocery store. They spotted him and asked him to go to a party; he said yes. Of course he did. And of course he had one drink. Hence the myriad reports of his showing signs of being drunk. Braun says Garrison doesn't remember the incident. Chances are, in the very near future, he will never be allowed forget it. --Robert Wilonsky

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