T.D. Jakes will join Jerry Falwell on CNN tonight. Lord have mercy.

What Would Jesus Watch Tonight?

"How would Jesus solve today's problems?" Dunno, let's ask Him. (Or Bible Girl.) But since that's not an option -- sorry, that's not an option for some of us -- CNN tonight at 7 p.m. turns to some familiar faces for Jesus' thoughts on such topics as "the war in Iraq, global warming, the gap between the rich and the poor and other contemporary challenges facing the world...[such as] whether the war in Iraq has become a holy war, the direction of the Christian political movement, the lingering questions about whether Jesus was married and the connection between the Easter bunny and the resurrection of Jesus." Apparently, CNN, like NBC, has run out of news. Or else tonight's panelists know something we don't as they answer the question, What Would Jesus Really Do? (I like the "really" in there. Guess they're not making this up at all. This are facts, y'all.)

No doubt the most esteemed panelist tonight is Dallas' own Bishop T.D. Jakes of The Potter's House, who, last October, contributed to CNN's Web site an essay in which he wrote, "I do not believe that African-American ministers should allow their political views to dictate the subjects and tone of their sermons." Joining Jakes, Time's "Pentacostal Media Mogul," will be Rick Warren (of Purpose-Drive Life fame and fortune), Jakes' pal Paula White and Jerry Falwell, who, to the best of my recollection, is still the only panelist on CNN's show tonight who blamed the terror attacks of September 11, 2001, on "the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians." Because that's how Jesus would solve today's problems. --Robert Wilonsky

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