Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:
*Former Carter High School star Michael Crabtree may not be a bad guy, but he's following some horrible advice. Friend of a friend of Crabtree tells me that he and the 49ers remain $10 million apart in contract negotiations and that the former Red Raiders receiver is indeed prepared to sit out the season. He's living in Florida, by the way, working out daily with a personal trainer and catching passes from former NFL quarterback Trent Dilfer.
*A Dallas judge this week ruled that a gay couple married in another state can legally get divorced in Texas and that the state's ban on same-sex marriage violates the constitution. Wow. Gov. Rick Perry maintains that "Texas voters and lawmakers have repeatedly affirmed the view that marriage is defined as between one man and one woman." My question: Why have we repeatedly affirmed that? I am one man who has indeed married one woman, but it wouldn't bother me in the least to live next door to one man who married one man. You?
*For those longing for the return of Ben & Skin, I hear they're sorta, kinda close to a gig on 103.3 FM ESPN. Michael Irvin still hasn't signed his latest contract offer, and B&S apparently are in the on-deck circle.
*Scientist confirm this week the finding of a 4-foot tall, 4.4-million year-old skeleton from Ethiopia. "Ardi", now believed to be our oldest living ancestor, is the biggest find since "Lucy" in the '70s. Weird, I missed both the names when I read The Bible.
*The Stars open a new season Saturday night in Nashville. Since its arrival in Dallas in 1993, has hockey ever been more irrelevant?
*Michael Vick's back on the field, again getting free shit from Nike. Brett Favre is in a Vikings' uniform. My question: Does anything shock us anymore? 9/11, the Internet and nightly shows like "Most Shocking Videos" have totally desensitized us to, well, being shocked. Example: The tsunami in Thailand in 2004 gripped us. The one this week in Samoa barely caused a ripple of media. I guess when we've endured Terrell Owens as a Cowboy we develop pretty thick skin against adversity.
*Hot.
*Not.
*I'll admit it, I'm a sucker for the State Fair of Texas. Though I've done it a million times, there's something magical about eating a Fletcher's corny dog in the shadow of Big Tex. I'm also determined to one day win the Midway game where you have to tip the beer bottle upright using a pole and a string. So far I'm like 0-for-112.
*Did David Letterman's audience believe his revelation about having sex with female employees was a joke? Or are we such blind sheep that we'll laugh and clap for anything a TV star says?
*Cowboys' linebacker Bradie James will wear pink shoes Sunday in Denver and all this month. Weird, but it's in honor of breast cancer awareness. So deal with it.
*Put on your black suit, please. I need every head bowed, every eye closed, every hand held: Dearly beloved, we have gathered here today to pay our last respects to our Texas Rangers. The baseball team, at the tender age of 37, officially died Sept. 29, 2009 of natural causes, most notably inconsistent hitting and general suckiness. On life support since August, some among us long ago desired a compassionate pulling of the plug. But fueled by manager Ron Washington's irrational optimism, others kept hope alive. As has been the case the last 10 years, it didn't end well. The temporary resuscitations by the likes of Neftali Feliz and Scott Feldman and Elvis Andrus were valiant, but ultimately the illness proved terminal. The Rangers are survived by Nolan Ryan and three divisional championships, all of which are now at least 10 years old. Let us all say in prayer in hopes of another April resurrection come 2010.
*There are apparently three serious bidders for the Rangers: Former agent Dennis Gilbert, Chuck Greenberg of Pittsburgh and Houston businessman Jim Crane. Without any more knowledge, can we rest assured they'd be better owners than Tom Hicks? Yes. Yes we can.
*Though the beaches and pizzazz of Rio is alluring, I'll be shocked if the muscle of Barack Obama, Oprah and even Dallas' own Michael Johnson doesn't land the 2016 Olympics for Chicago today. Announcement comes down at Noon.
*Was out of town last week, so if you've been crowing for UFC coverage and you temporarily checked out you might've missed this lil' diddy.
*A 5-year-old shot and killed a 12-foot, 800-pound alligator in Houston. Other than my first marriage - and this destructive bastard - I have never killed anything in my life.
*If you didn't get enough of me during the week on 105.3 The Fan, I'll be part of the Cowboys Pre-Game Show Sunday from Noon-3:15. Show up for me, stay for Jagger and Larry Brown.
