Whitt's End: 10.23.09

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Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Last night I got a foot massage. By a guy. And thoroughly enjoyed it. Now, now. Settle down. It's not what you think. Friend of mine tells me of a place where at 11 p.m. you can get an hour-long Japanese foot rub/back massage while drinking alcohol and watching TV. All for $29.99. I call that place Xanadu, but it's actually in Richardson. Foot Joy, indeed. If you can withstand the pain/pleasure of male knuckles rammed into your arches, you will not be disappointed.

*And no, smart ass, there was no happy ending. A satisfying conclusion, yes, but no happy ending.

*Don't look now but it's basketball season. Seems just last week Mark Cuban and Kenyon Martin were verbal jousting and the Mavs were being bullied out of the playoffs by the physically superior Nuggets. Dallas opens at home Tuesday night against the Washington Wizards. I think they'll be better with the arrival of Shawn Marion and the departure of Cristal Taylor. But who knows? In the NBA - more than any other sport - it's about matchups in the playoffs. How good you are is only slightly more important than who you are playing come April. I love the NBA, but more and more it feels like we sit through an 82-game pre-season before the fun begins in the spring.

*The Cowboys this week unveilved AT&T logos on their practice jerseys. Isn't it just a matter of time before we see corporate sponsorship more prominent on NFL uniforms? Already happens in England's soccer premiereship, where, if you didn't know any better, you'd think Manchester United was actually AIG. Sign of the Apocalypse: The Wal-Mart Cowboys?

*I hear Michael Irvin finally signed his contract over at 103.3 FM ESPN, so the underrated Ben & Skin remain orbiting without a radio hub. But I coulda swore I heard Ticket-ex and The Fan-ex Kevin Scott reading a SportsCenter update on ESPN this morning on the way to work. If so, he might be the first player to hit for the Metroplex radio cycle.

*I said a couple weeks ago that NASA was a waste of time, money and, well, space. A White House panel - saying we've picked the wrong rocket to go to the wrong destination - agrees. Not sure if that makes me feel better or worse about my theory.

*Listening to the quirky speech and watching the bizarre strategy of Phillies' manager Charlie Manuel, he reminds me of a guy named Ron Washington. Except for the success, I mean.

*Turns out the U.S. tortured prisoners at Guantanamo Bay with music. Don McLean's "American Pie." The "Meow Mix" jingle. Queen's "We Are The Champions." Good call, because immediately upon the opening line of "American Pie" - a long, long time ago - I find myself calling ex-girlfriends to confess previously untold sins.

*Warning to drivers: If you're heading southbound on 75 in McKinney, avoid the right lane as you go under the 121 overpass construction. Buddy of mine was navigating that mess yesterday when this happened. Pothole = Bent rim.

​*So what do you do if you're Miley Cyrus and you've just finished a concert at American Airlines Center? 1. Look in the mirror and giggle that you've got the world sooo fooled. 2. Go to dinner at La Cubanita on McKinney Ave. No word or whether it was actually a party in the U.S.A.



*Three thumbs up to Paranormal Activity. Yeah, I can punch holes in it. (The husband never works. Eventually I'd shut my bedroom dooor. If "Dr. A" ain't available, call "Dr. B." And, what, no blanket or comforter on your bed?) But overall it was creepy-good in an "I wonder ..." sorta way more than an "I gotcha ..." sorta way. Of course, I also thought Blair Witch was bad ass.

*June Jones isn't exactly working miracles on Mockingbird. But SMU does deserve a little sympathy. The Mustangs have lost their last six overtime games including Navy last week.

*Hey Mexico, chill out. On the same day last week federal agents confiscated $3 million cash and 729 pounds of meth from the La Familia drug cartel nesting in Dallas while the Texas Mexican Mafia prison gang admitted to dozens of killings. I think it would be fascinating to track that $3 million. I mean, physically, where does that cash end up? Uncle Sam? Night drop at Bank of America? Invested in a Roth IRA? Or does it get distributed to agents in the form of Christmas bonuses?

*During his very awkward divorce hearing, CBS Sports signature voice Jim Nantz admitted to having a 29-year-old girlfriend. Kinda puts a new twist on his book - Always By My Side.

*Soupy Sales has died. Funny headline reads "Comic Built Career on Pies." Don't know why, but reading his obit reminded me of a childhood friend named Happy Slauson. At least when I knew him, Happy did not intend to build a career on pies.

*Sarah Palin is going to be on Oprah. Most of my nightmares involve one, if not both.

*FYI, the Atlanta Falcons have allowed only two sacks this season. Two.

*Tonight I've got a delicious double-header: The Dallas Desire Lingerie Football League game, followed by a Halloween party. For the 12th consecutive year I will dress up as KISS singer/guitarist Paul Stanley. Why mess with success?

*Before the Cowboys outscore the Falcons Sunday in Cowboys Stadium I'll be in the West Plaza and on 105.3 The Fan with Jagger and Larry Brown for the Noon-3 pre-game show. Don't be a stranger.

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