Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:
*The Dallas Cowboys began the season at 9/1 odds to make the Super Bowl. At the halfway point of the season they are now 500/1. The over/under for wins for interim head coach Jason Garrett: 2.5. Give me the over, though I fully realize that Garrett is part of the problem in the first place.
*If Cliff Lee signs with the New York Yankees do we boo him the first time he shows up in Arlington in pinstripes? He helped the Rangers to their best season ever. But he would've also lost two World Series games and turned his back on us for ... them.
*I'm soooooo sick of critics saying Dirk Nowitzki is soft. If you watched him roll his ankle Wednesday night in Memphis and then return after halftime, I rest my case. The guy has missed 32 games in 12 seasons. He's a finesse player, yes. But to call him a wussy with a p is just ridiculously wrong.
*Here's the deal: I'm offering you a job that pays $567,000 a year. The only requirement is that you ride exclusively a public bus everywhere you go for 365 days. No cars. No taxis. No limos. No airplanes. No helicopters. No hot air balloons. No bicycles. No motorcycles. No skateboards. No horseback. No buggies. Oh yes, you can walk. But if you do it has to be barefoot. Are you accepting the position?
*Here's hoping John Patrick Barton rots in prison. With three DWI's already on his record, he celebrated his 30th birthday by buying 31 drinks at a Dallas bar and then jumping in his wife's car to drive home early Easter morning. His blood-alcohol level was three times the legal limit and he was driving 134 mph when he slammed into the back of another car near 35 and 121, killing a 33-year-old mom and her 13-year-old daughter. Sentenced to life in prison and not eligible for parole until 2040, he says he plans to enroll in seminary in prison as a way to honor his victims. Hope God rejects his admission application.
*Didn't see this, but someone told me former Cowboys' quarterback Danny White started his career 18-1 at home. Ah, the good ol' days.
*Do people actually fall for the spamscam e-mail that begins ... THIS IS THE INTERNATIONAL MONITORING UNIT OF THE HOMELAND SECURITY WE HAVE WITH US HERE AN ATM MASTER CARD PACKAGE THAT CONTACT TEN MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS WHICH YOU WON FROM THE UNITED NATION YEAR LOTTERY ... If so, no sympathies.
*Former Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson is among those of us who saw the team quit on Wade Phillips: "It was obvious to anybody who watched -- from the astute football person to a housewife -- that team had shut it down, and that's a shame.''
*Dallas' city council is planning a $1.3 million revitalization of lowest Greenville. The plan is to transform the party district into a "destination for families, where shoppers can park their bikes and sip drinks on tree-lined patios." Mother. Effers. Don't we already have that crap on every street corner and shopping center from West Village to Shops of Legacy? Great, suck the last living breaths of character right out of our city. Dear Deep Ellum, please hurry back. I miss you.
*Intrigued by the movie 127 Hours. It's about "the guy cutting off his own arm," kinda like the buzz about the movie about "the guys who ate each other."
*Listened to satellite radio's 20-on-20 the other day in attempt to not be an old, outta touch curmudgeon. Three of the first songs used that Auto-Tune voice thing. Doesn't even sound human. No thanks. Curmudgeon, table for one please.
*Speaking of music, this ditty is one of the sing-songy-suckiest songs ever. Tragic event. Terrible song.
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*Listened to myself on the radio the other day. I do suck. Say "um" way too much. My apologies.
*Soccer, anyone? FC Dallas is in Major League Soccer's version of the NFC Championship Game Sunday night in Los Angeles against the Galaxy. A win there and FC Dallas would play in American soccer's Super Bowl, to be played November 21 in ... Toronto?!
*Was at Cape Buffalo last night talking to bike gang members. Waitress walks up with a shot of tequila and says the gentleman across the bar is buying it for me. She says his name -- I'm not making this up -- is "Robo Greggo."
*This weekend? Saturday night it's boxing at Cowboys Stadium. Sunday afternoon it's the autopsy of Giants-Cowboys on 105.3 The Fan from Duke's in Addison. Do not be a stranger.