Whitt's End: 2.12.10

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Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*The combo of weather and injuries and chicken shits is diminishing NBA All-Star Weekend. No Kobe Bryant. No Allen Iverson. No LeBron James in the dunk contest. Silver lining: Mavs' icon Dirk Nowitzki will get to make his first All-Star start Sunday at Cowboys Stadium, and he'll do it as a guard alongside buddy Steve Nash. That sight just might make the weekend salvageable.

*I'd be much more interested in the actual All-Star game if Jerry Jones left the roof open and the world's best athletes trudged in the snow.

*I'm born and raised right here in Dallas, and on Thursday it snowed harder and longer than any day I can remember. Ten inches is amazing. But we might want to keep it to ourselves. Remember, lots of folks are arriving here from the east coast, where they've endured 50 - that's five oh - inches of snow this week and temperatures in the teens. It's kind of like the New Orleans Saints winning their first Super Bowl and expecting the Dallas Cowboys to be impressed, if not altogether jealous.

*Our offices at 105.3 The Fan overlook a school alongside 75. During Thursday's snowstorm the kids were allowed to play outside for what looked like an extended recess. Can't tell you how many adults walked by the window, looked down at that sight, stopped and said something to the affect of "Damn, I wish I was a kid again." Seriously, the image was powerfully magnetic. Almost sad. Got me to thinking. It seems the birth of our adulthood can be traced to one precise moment. There comes a day in all our lives when our initial reaction to "It's going to snow!" deteriorates from "Yipee!" to "Oh, shit." Shame.

*Texas in the Big 10? Surely you jest. Of course, some of us thought the Southwest Conference would out-live us all.

*Debra Medina, the Libertarian-turned-sorta-Republican candidate to be Texas governor speaks her mind and then has to backpedal for having the audacity to believe that the American people haven't seen all the evidence regarding 9/11. "There's some very good arguments there," she said on Glenn Beck's nationally syndicated radio show. I know someone who is right there with her: Mark Cuban and the Loose Change documentary. I know someone else who has lingering questions about the government's role: Me. If nothing else, wouldn't it be refreshing to have someone in government with the balls to actually question government?

*Mavs owner Mark Cuban is 51. This just in: He's mellowed. You don't say?!

*Dear Facebook: Enough already with the once-a-month redesigns. Might as well re-name you Facelift.

*Even during a whiteout some folks have the blues. The lingering, stubborn blues that deteriorate into depression and perhaps worse. Just take a second to look around, would ya?

*At the same time, I love dark bands and darker songs like this, so screw me.

*Seriously, if I'm ever down in the dumps I just watch Kunu give surfing lessons in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. "Pop up and do less." Gigg. Uhll.

*Re: Our biggest blizzard of the century, do you look at it as A) Global warming, what a joke? or B) See, toldja global warming would cause chaos? Give me A.

*Don't much care for Valentine's Day, but here's my scouting report on roses: Red means you have in the past and will in the near future make her panties fly off. All other colors: Meh.

*On second thought, for V-Day get your wife a girlfriend. One of these would work.

*I was a little troubled/annoyed by the cocky lil' kid slapping the adult in the Doritos Super Bowl commercial - want to get your way, punks? punch somebody - but then again, obviously violence sells.



*Danica Patrick > Michelle Wie. Still, I just know that deep down most drivers resent someone lavished with such fame and fortune before completing her first lap in a NASCAR race.

*Jesus didn't smoke pot. But he hauls it.

*Colts quarterback Peyton Manning is a Hall of Fame quarterback and a classy guy, but sometimes he makes bad throws and sometimes he makes bad mistakes. He should've made the effort after the Super Bowl to shake hands with Saints players, especially Drew Brees. It would've been difficult to navigate the crowd and the confetti, but that's what you expect from Manning. Him running off the field smells like sour grapes and poor sportsmanship.

*Speaking of Cuban, if I'm a Stars' fan I'd gladly trade a ho-hum season on the ice in exchange for ownership involvement from him and Mike Modano.

*Weird, Megan Fox has a nub thumb.

*If Howard Stern replaces Simon Cowell on American Idol, I'll start watching karaoke. (Editor's note: How the hell is that word pronounced "carry-oak-ree"?

*If you hit the see-and-be-seen-scenes this weekend, guaranteed you'll spot one or more of these Vault vehicles. They're the latest rage in athlete transport.

*The Sports Illustrated cover jinx is alive and well. American skiier Lindsey Vonn graces the mag, then hurts her ankle entering the Winter Olympics. Careful swimsuit edition covergirl Brooklyn Decker or your bikini top might fall off during a photo shoot. Oops.

*Went to 105.3 The Fan's "Stupid Cupid" party the other night at this place. Question: If a guy starts buying shots in commemorative glasses and winds up walking out with 21 of 'em in a box, can that be classified as a good time?

*With the NBA in town and snow on the ground and Olympics on the TV and Valentine's on the calendar, I think it's safe to say the annual Dallas Boat Show has horrible timing.

*There's one thing scarier than frantic Toyota owners pumping their brakes while their malfunctioning cars uncontrollably accelerate, and that's the Ford and Chevy owner pumping their fists and going "Serves 'em right, they shoulda bought good ol' 'Merican cars."

*Me? I'll slipslide into 105.3 The Fan this morning and spend the weekend chasing celebs and watching hoops during All-Star Weekend. You?

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