Whitt's End: 3.25.11

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Whether you've reached the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Like me, do you think the Texas Rangers are kinda getting caught with their pants on the ground with their pitching staff exposed? The time to go get a reliable closer is not next year, it's this year. If Neftali Feliz is one of your best starters, then why is he back in the bullpen for 2011? Answer: Because at this point Texas' mediocre starters are considered better than Texas' mediocre relievers. Yuck.

*Speaking of the Rangers, when Michael Young demanded his trade some of us wrote that "we've been down this road before." Young gets his feelings hurt, complains publicly and somewhere during spring training calms down and remembers that getting paid $16 million per season to play baseball for the Rangers isn't so bad after all. He and GM Jon Daniels have talked twice this week and the end result: No trade.

*Tommy Hunter getting hurt doesn't change how I think of the Rangers one bit. And that's as the second-best team in the AL West behind the Anaheim Angels. Look at the pitching staffs and tell me I'm wrong.

*I hear people fawning over Elizabeth Taylor's looks. "In her day ..." the old foagies gloat. Yeah, but in her day there was no Internet or YouTube or anything other than three TV networks. These days we know: There are girls hotter than Liz on every street corner. But after all this hubbub, I do plan on watching Giant one of these days.

*I really don't care if Dez Bryant - or his posse - chooses to wear saggy britches. Unique style is fine by me. Some of us dorks still wear our hats backward for no particular reason. I don't think, however, that the bill in the back is nearly as offensive as someone's underwear exposed. I'd be more worried about Bryant cussing at cops. What's the upside there? Nada. Trust me, I was 23 once. It's never worth it. Bryant's advisor, David Wells, is a good man. Hopefully he'll help Bryant learn that he has a lot to lose.

*So a 4-year-old boy named Colton Burpo "dies" on the operating table and claims to have gone to Heaven, where he met his great grandfather, sat in Jesus' lap and was amazed by all the streets of gold, bright colors and peeps flying around with huge wings. A million doubts about his money-making tale but just one question: If everyone has wings, do we really need streets?



*Here's a good thought for former Dallas Maverick Mark Aguirre, who collapsed at an area Lifetime Fitness this week and was hospitalized. Kinda the same thing happened to current coach Rick Carlisle this year. Heading into my 50s is going to be scary. Aguirre's game, which peaked in the late '80s, would be unrecognizeable in today's NBA. He was a 6-5ish small forward who scored with his back to the basket.

*I never want to see a major injury to a professional athlete ... unless his name is David West. I giggled last night at the sight of the New Orleans Hornets' asshole falling in a heap under the basket in a game at Utah. West, with an apparent serious knee injury, left the court in a wheelchair with a towel over his face. In case you forgot, he's the thug who last month blatantly shoved Dirk Nowitzki into the third row while the two were chasing a loose ball. If you can't beat 'em, shove 'em I guess. Then, when Brian Cardinal went to help Dirk, West gave him a two-handed shove in the back before walking away. Karma is a bitch, and sometimes she teaches lessons in wheelchairs.

*Amazing that, according to Forbes, the Rangers' estimated value rose 25 percent. I guess winning and surviving bankruptcy is good for the bottom line.

*I've said it before and I'll say it again: For my money the best player in college basketball is Arizona's Derrick Williams. He was a monster in last night's upset of Duke. As for Jimmer Fredette, he scored 32 points in BYU's loss to Florida, but he also got a heaping dose of what it's like to have superior athletes in your jock all night.

*I know this isn't news, but Adrian Beltre is a badass at third base. A year after watching Young labor at the hot corner, it's shocking to see some of the balls Beltre not only shags, but turns into routine outs.

*Giving up carbonated soft drinks for Lent is working. I don't really miss Diet Coke or Ginger Ale Green Tea, and I certainly don't miss the four pounds I've already dropped just by choosing water instead.

*It's been so long that I'm not even sure what Barry Bonds is on trial for anymore. Years ago the court of public opinion made up its mind that he used steroids and then lied about it. Right?

*When I sit down to write these days I've taken to listening to classical symphony. Out of nowhere I'm into a dude named Pyotr Ilyich. You probably know him as Tchaikovsky.

*As expected, Michael Vick is killing DeMarcus Ware in the Madden cover boy tournament, 77-23 percente. Ware is too good of a guy to advance.

*This weekend? Going-away happy hour with some Dallas Observer folks (relax, it ain't for me) tonight and then hunkering down again to bang away at another upcoming cover story. All work and no play makes me a dull, grumpy boy. This is one of those rare occasions where I'd prefer you, yes, be a stranger. 

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