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Whitt's End: 4.3.09

Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Seems Highland Park-ex and potential No. 1 overall NFL Draft pick Matthew Stafford isn't comfortable talking with teams - specifically a psychologist for the San Francisco 49ers - about his parents' divorce. It's wrong for 49ers coach Mike Singletary to go public with the tale, telling a radio station "if you're going to look at drafting a guy in the first round, and you're going to pay him millions of dollars, and asking him about a divorce about his parents, if that's going to be an issue, uhhh, then you know what, maybe he doesn't belong here." But if you're going to pay me $50 million, I'll fly my folks in and they can tell you all about it themselves.

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*With one down, seven to go - Mavs win Wednesday; Jazz lose Thursday - my plan to have the Mavericks pass Utah for 7th place in the West is working to perfection. UPDATE: If you can't beat the sorry ass, 20-win Grizzlies with your nuts on the line, how you gonna sniff a win on the road in the playoffs. Sorry Mavs, but my belief stops here. 

*I've said it before and I'll say it again: The most dangerous vehicle on the road is the white pickup. Fear it.

*I don't know of one person who got sick with the Conficker virus. You? Smells like a fabricated ghost story, invented to justify all those IT geeks. Kinda like how once a month the scientific community makes an "amazing discovery" which turns out to be just another star 1,000 light years away. Y2k, anyone?

*Didn't see this coming: Elvis Andrus' spring batting average (.275) was higher than David Murphy, Hank Blalock and Nelson Cruz. That's good news. I think.

*Bet my dork story can top your dork story. In college I was at the old European Crossroads club Amnizia when I confronted a hot little tart. "I went to Hockaday," she informed. Wanting to make an immediate, shallow connection, I retorted "Really? Me too!"

*Kudos to Tom Hicks for eating Frank Catalanotto's $6 million salary. He's usually an easy target unwilling to make financial sacrifices for his team, but the Rangers' owner also spent $4 million on Ballpark upgrades. Don't wake him. Maybe he hasn't heard about "these economic times ..." UPDATE: So ... a couple loosey-goosey moves and Hicks' finances go right to the shitter. He's defaulting on loans? Oh boy.

*Want to find yourself laughing, angry and recoiling in fear within the same 45 minutes? Watch the HBO documentary "Right America: Feeling Wronged." Scariest part? Could've easily been filmed down in Johnson County.

*I don't really understand wind. But I understand that I really don't like it. This week's weather offered us baseball-sized hail and 60-mph gusts. Apocalypse? Nope, Spring.

*My bracket has long been in rubble, but my champion - UConn - is still alive and well. Can I still claim to be an "expert" if my only Final Four team wins it all?

*Hot.

*Not.

*Speaking of Hicks' bank account, the Stars missing the NHL playoffs will cost him at least $4 million. At least.

*Got stuck this morning on cancelled vs. canceled. Out of nowhere they both looked right. Weird, Webster's agrees.

*If you live in China and you're a "one in a million", you have 1,300 just like you.

*Maybe I'm going blind, but where are all the Bluebonnets? Too early?

*From the Dept. of If-It-Seems-Too-Good-To-Be-True-It-Probably-Is: Giggle.

*Saw where SMU football will get two "nationally televised" games in 2009. Then saw where the networks are The Mountain and CBS College Sports. Totally dismissed it.

*People say I'm deteriorating into a jaded, cynical curmudgeon who hates everything. Bullshit. I really like this, these and this. So there.

*Because, after all, 105.3 The Fan is the official home of NASCAR, I'll only have room to squeeze in one show this weekend. Sunday 7-10 a.m. Be there or be square. Or just sleep in. I'll never know. Or ... will ... I?

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