Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:
*This is why I thought Ron Washington should have been fired on the spot last summer when he first told Texas Rangers' management about his cocaine use: He can't be trusted. Twice in the last two weeks Washington has accepted blame for a loss after he bypassed baseball's "book" and went with his gut. Once not having a .180 hitter sacrifice bunt; another not starting the 9th with his closer on the mound. "My bad," Wash shrugs. To those of you yelling at me to shut up because there's no correlation between what he does off the field and on, take note. When Washington was staring over that line of coke, in his head the book screamed "No!" but his gut teased "Go on, do it!" Washington isn't good enough to go with his gut.
*That said, at 20-15 the Rangers are off to a swell start. Of course last year they were 21-14, so who knows? What seems apparent is that the Rangers have found themselves a lead-off hitter in Elvis Andrus, an ace in C.J. Wilson and a closer in Neftali Feliz. Three thumbs up.
*After Dallas Cowboys' receiver Roy Williams goes on one of his irritating "I'm still the man" rants, all that's missing is the silly Hook 'em Horns sign-off.
*Love me some Twitter. Because of tweets like this one from 105.3 The Fan newbie Wally Lynn: "Eric Dampier had knee surgery to clear debris out of there. They found a trash can lid, a license plate, and both of his hands." Genius.
*Some Dallas business folks are making waaaay premature plans to have our city host the 2020 Olympics. Couple problems: 2012, anyone? And, the United States Olympic Committee has zero plans to have the 2020 Games in America. Other than that, yeah, dream away!
*At this point, aren't LeBron James and Dirk Nowitzki basically the same guy? Both MVPs with an appearance in the NBA Finals, mostly remembered for leading underacheving teams.
*Rangers catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia is hitting down at Oklahoma City. But apparently he ain't throwing. In a word, Salty has the "yips." The freak-outs. It happens. Sometimes golfers get to a point where they just can't make a 1-foot putt and sometimes baseball players - see Steve Sax, Rick Ankiel, etc. - forget how to throw. Reports are that Salty had five errant throws back to the pitcher the other night - in the first inning. Ever had the yips? Me neither. Knock on Greg Williams' noggin'.
*The Dallas Desire of the Lingerie Football League is catching on. Their games have moved from Grand Prairie's QuickTrip Park to this year - ta-da! - the grand ol' Cotton Bowl. Because, after all, Don Meredith and Tom Landry paved the way for quarterback sneaks performed in thongs.
*Woe is Dallas. Credit reporting company Experian says that of the country's biggest 20 metro areas, the Metroplex ranks 19th in average debt. Only Seattle is worse. The typical Dallasite is carrying $26,599 in debt (credit cards, cars and loans, excluding mortgages.) Ouch.
*On Saturday in Richardson I'm going to see these guys. Under. Rated.
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*I love Sarah Silverman. Hot. And funny. Even sexy. Saw her on Real Time with Bill Maher the other night. She said she wants to be seen as a charitable, sympathetic, caring person, but without having to do all the work to earn the label. Result: She's adopting a mentally handicapped child ... with a terminal illness. To some that's offensive and disgusting. To the rest us, it's hilarious.
*Played golf yesterday. Thanks for asking. I shot 78 with four birdies at the new links course in Cleburne. Yeah, couple of blow-up holes. As usual.
*Robin Hood opens this weekend, proving yet again that we are completely out of movie ideas. Braveheart. Gladiator. 300. Yawn. Right, re-booted Freddy Krueger?
*Prepare your punch lines: Saturday night at 6 I'll be hosting something called GayBingo down at the club S4 on Cedar Springs. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) Myself and 105.3 The Fan's Sybil Summers will give away prizes from The Fan, your friendly Dallas Observer and, I guess, call out lucky numbers. Don't be a stranger.