Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:
*The Southwest Conference lived to be 80. The Big 12 won't see its 17th birthday. Favorite part of the squabble is Texas A&M threatening to go to the Southeastern Conference without Texas. Yeah, right. Remember Aggies, if you will, the first line to your fight song: Goodbye to Texas University ... A&M without Texas would be like the Philadelphia Eagles without the Dallas Cowboys. In other words, pack your bags Aggies, you're headed west to the PacTex Conference.
*While Baylor works "feverishly" trying to save the Big 12, Pac 10 member Cal is attempting to ban the Bears from heading west because, as one of America's most liberal institutions of higher learning, it doesn't want to mingle with a faith-based school. Sorry, Baylor Baptists. Now, back to your Bibles. Good luck in Conference USA.
*Props to Texas Rangers center fielder Julio Borbon, who had three more hits last night and raised his averaged to .276. Raise your hand if you were calling for him to be sent down to AAA a month ago. Mine's raised.
*In the 2007 NBA Draft, your Dallas Mavericks chose with the 34th overall pick a big white stiff named Nick Fazekas. Picked next was Glen "Big Baby" Davis, same guy who helped the Boston Celtics even the NBA Finals at 2-2 last night. Some of us saw this one coming. Fazekas, for what it's worth, is playing in France.
*With the news that Dallas Cowboys running back Marion Barber played most of last season with a torn thigh muscle, I was prepared to apologize for referring to him as Marion the Librarian. But then I took a tour of Cowboys Stadium Wednesday and watched some Cowboys-Eagles playoff-game highlights up on JumboJerry. After a four-yard run, Barber hopped up, beat his chest and high-stepped 10 yards down field. Hurt? I think not. Apology rescinded.
*If you're looking for the hottest, freshest face in sports TV news these days, check out ESPN's Jenn Brown. Saw her reporting on USC's probation and, in a word, Yowza! And, maybe it's just me, but ABC NBA Finals sideline reporter Doris Burke does a little something for me. In a world awash with bumbling beauties, Burke knows her stuff. Sexy.
*If you were planning on tailgating at Cowboys Stadium before Super Bowl XLV, sorry for your loss. The North Texas Super Bowl Host Committee decided this week to scrap those plans, because ultimately it would be too costly to rent tents, heaters and metal detectors. Those costs would have been passed on to tailgaters, who would've been forced to pay a couple hundred bucks just for the right to park at the stadium sans tickets to the actual game.
*Guy in Utah is next week scheduled to be executed - via firing squad. The 49-year-old in '85 murdered a woman and then his lawyer, and at the time chose firing squad over electric chair. The morbid fascination in me would watch a killer strapped to a chair and shot in the heart by five officers. You?
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
*Let's all pray for the best, but if 16-year-old Abby Sunderland is lost at sea I don't want to hear how it's a tragic death. You send a teenage girl on a solo sail around the world - 23,000 miles - and there are inherent, real dangers. Update: She's alive, and well.
*There's the tug-at-your-heart photo of the sludge-stained seagull. And then there's the real tragedy behind the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. P&J Oyster Company, a 134-year-old institution in New Orleans' French Quarter, may have to close its doors because its supply of oysters has been buried in oil.
*Rest in peace, Matthew Parish. You are a stronger, better man than I'll ever be. Parish, who became an expert snow-skiier and Eagle Scout despite muscular dystrophy, died this week just days after graduating from North Garland High School. He was 22.
*Me? This Saturday I'm watching some U.S.-England World Cup soccer over at Trinity Hall in Mockingbird Station. Sunday I'll be geared up for the return of HBO's True Blood. In between I'll try to survive a couple more P90X workouts. Pray for me. And, as always, don't be a stranger.