Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:
*OK, OK, I get it. So I write that Dez Bryant almost assuredly wouldn't be signed by Day 1 of Dallas Cowboys' training camp. "Barring an 11th-hour agreement ... " I think I penned. Never wished he would miss camp. Never took joy in the possibility. It was just an educated survey of the stagnant NFL landscape. Of course - kudos to the Cowboys - Bryant signed Thursday night for five years and $11.8 million. Good news. But, jeez, my inbox is saturated today with "ha ha, you're an idiot!!" and "you ought to give your weekly salary back." News flash: I've been wrong before and I'll be wrong again. As Michael Irvin once famously screamed, "Just come at me with the same intensity when I'm right!" Deal?
*Love me some Tim Cowlishaw, but today the Dallas' Only Daily columnist actually wrote this: "The Mavericks are not fundamentally better off than they were a decade ago when (Mark Cuban) bought the team from Ross Perot Jr." Tim, you're an idiot!! Furthermore, you ought to give your weekly salary back. Wait, what?
*Most impressive stat about new Texas Rangers' ace Cliff Lee: His two home starts have attracted a combined walk-up crowd of 23,000.
*Speaking of the Rangers, at six games they have their largest division lead since 1999. Cue Prince.
*If I were President - and I'm serious mostly joking about this - Saki Sucky (or whatever the woman's name is that (allegedly) strangled her two kids with an antennae wire in Irving) would be stoned to death. Tonight. On live TV.
*Hot.
*Not.
*Read where Lady Gaga was described this way by her legion of fans, who call themselves "Little Monsters": She's David Bowie meets Madonna meets Freddie Mercury and they all had a baby with Boy George. The more I dig into her the more I like.
*Is it just me or is bankruptcy judge Michael Lynn enjoying the Rangers trial a little too much? Calling in Ron Washington. Predicting a World Series win. Sounds like some Grade A grandstanding.
*As if he needed it, yet another honor for Roger Staubach. The Hall of Fame legend will be the recipient of the 2010 Hope for Humanity Award given by the Dallas Holocaust Museum/Center for Education and Tolerance.
*Haven't posted radio ratings in a while for several reasons. It's been forever since they changed (The Ticket still dominates). I went on vacation. And, most important, Arbitron has started cracking down on publishing a breakdown of the dayparts. If anyone has such breakdown feel free (hinty hint hint), but I've gotta be careful.
*Speaking of radio, I think it's strange that Michael Irvin has a new show on a Miami station that he's going to do from Dallas. And I heard former Texas Tech coach Mike Leach on with Newy Scruggs on 105.3 The Fan the other day. Just a thought, but I think crazy-ass Leach would make good radio on a full-time basis.
*Sorry, but if you think the ABC show Wipeout is funny, I can't be your friend. You're the same guy who guffaws at dads getting racked on America's Funniest Home Videos. Only thing worse than contestants constantly falling into mud is smug announcer John Anderson's forced, scripted one-liners after each and every slip. I accidentally watched nine minutes of the show. I will not watch one more.. Neither should you.
*The Dallas Desire of the Lingerie Football League also opens training camp this weekend. If you're craving some hot chicks tackling each other in their undies, the season opener is Sept. 3 at the Cotton Bowl.
*Good news for all of Dallas' single men me: The annual Mark Kay convention will bring 30,000 women to our city over the next two weeks. Giggity.
*One last radio nugget: My on-air partner Greg Williams says he has reached out to long-time sidekick Mike Rhyner three times in the last couple weeks, just to say what's up and talk some Rangers' baseball. Greggo says in return he didn't even get a "No thanks," only silence. Others at The Ticket, to their credit, have at least sent Williams a short "congrats" text. No, in case you're wondering, Corby Davidson and Danny Balis weren't among them.
*This weekend? Used to go to Cabo San Lucas with a group of friends each year. Then - don't know if you've heard - the economy tanked. Vacations that used to take us south, went, um, south. So now? Same group goes to a local party house for a vacation. Hide the keys. Tap the keg. Turn up the music. Wristbands. Water volleyball. The works. Ironically enough the house sits just east of Allen in the tiny town of Lucas. Yep, Lucas Sans Cabo. Get it? Don't be a stranger.
