Why a Low-Rent "Us" Calls Us

In case you, like, didn't know already, Kevin "Coattails" Federline will be at the new Club X this weekend--and he might even bring his knocked-up sugar mama. An editor for Life & Style Weekly even called the Observer offices Wednesday, desperately seeking that well-connected someone who could tail Mrs. and Mr. Spears all weekend and report back. Unfortunately, most of us had taxes and/or laundry to do, and, frankly, we've already seen quite enough of Britney this week. So...if you read what Britney ordered at the Starbucks in Uptown while you're standing in line at Tom Thumb next week, remember, that could have been us telling you that. But it's not. You're welcome. --Noah Bailey

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